How to meet men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
How to meet men?
7
Wed, 02-19-2014 - 2:44am

Hello,

How to meet men? I am single and wanting to meet someone special. I have been single for awhile and have thought about old and ckind-off hesitant. I have heard some good and bad stories.

thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Wed, 02-19-2014 - 9:11am

Online dating can work. It is convenient in that it gives the opportunity to meet people at any time without having to shower and dress up.  I met my wife online. However, you will likely have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet your prince. You will need to be ready for a lot of fraud, weirdness, and rudeness out there.  No internet dating site has been willing and able to filter this out.  I'd meanwhile also look to other options to find someone. Do people you know possibly know men who might be right for you? Are there activities you are involved with where you could possibly meet men? The list could include church, yoga class, political campaigns, hiking clubs, etc.  

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 02-21-2014 - 5:22pm

You have to have a thick skin to do it. I got tired of being ignored and I won't go back to it. I meet lots of men, but most of them are married or not looking for a relationship. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 02-21-2014 - 7:46pm

I think OLD varies a lot depending on the person.  My 24 yr old DD met her BF on OLD.  She's a nurse so she really doesn't meet men at work.  Her BF is a really nice guy, who's 29.  IN fact a lot of people I know have met their BFs or spouses on OLD--I think the key being that most of them were under 50.  It seems that for women over 50, it's difficult to do OLD--the guys in their 50's are looking for much younger pretty thin women, even when the man himself is bad looking and overweight and not very desirable. But then again, for women over 50 it seems kind of difficult to meet men anyway.  I always think that doing things you are interested in anyway is good because then you will meet someone who has common interests.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 02-22-2014 - 2:03pm
Music- I think the age is actually under 30. I read something awhile back about who got the most responses to online profiles. I don't remember the exact statistics, but I think it was women who described themselves (or appeared in pictures) as thin and around 25. I seem to remember Asian being in there somewhere, but I'm not sure. I do remember reading that women over 30 got far less responses than those over 30.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 02-22-2014 - 4:46pm

That's probably true about the most responses, but I was in the board for single mothers here and a lot of those women who were in their 40's managed to meet guys from on line.  One of my friends from there (who I have met IRL) is mid-40's, blond, blue eyed, very photogenic, and she still will get responses--only a couple of years ago she managed to meet a guy on line who she dated for 2 yrs--he was about 10 yrs older than her.  So it's a lot of men wanting younger women.  I got a good amount of responses when I was in my early 40's and I was surprised when my 2nd marriage ended and I tried it again how few responses I got--and I really do not look much older.  IRL people assume I'm in my 40's.  I just think that the fact that you have to say your age (and I refuse to lie about it) narrows your chances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 02-23-2014 - 11:25am

I think both you and Shywon are correct, at least from my experience. When I initially did OLD in my mid-30s, there was a dearth of responses, and not quality guys at that. When I did it in earnest about 5 years ago (around age 45-46), I did manage to get quite a few responses, and some were nice, attractive men with good jobs. Unfortunately, for various reasons, none of those turned into a long-term relationship. The last time I went online, age 50, it was like the door just slammed shut. The few responses were from much older (10+ years), fat, homely, retired or on disability, or just incompatible. My theory is that mid-30s, a lot of the men are still in marriages, raising families. Around 40+, a lot of the bad marriages will end in divorce, which puts more men on the market. But as you said, so many of them want women at least 10 years younger. And if they are in decent shape and have a decent job, they are going to be able to get younger women. Some women in certain social circles will always meet men. But 50 seems to be the death knell for women-especially on line. I think the chances are better IRL as you can actually see the person and get a sense of their energy level, etc. But we all know how hard it is to meet men IRL, too. Like you, people usually think I am in my 40s. As far as age, I hate it when men lie, and I refuse to do it myself. I have come to accept that the odds are low that I will find someone I really want to be with. But when I consider the alternative, i.e., settling for someone just because he has a Y chromosome, I am ok with being alone. Especially knowing that people bring so much more baggage to a relationship as they age, particularly poor health.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 02-23-2014 - 11:11pm

It's a numbers game.  The first thing to not to do is make meeting the one your life.  Live your life but be prepared.  Mentally emotionally,financially.   The idea that the is one special  person can blind you.   Think of this.  The advice to men is to look good  when leaving the house.    Think of the qualities you want.  Think about what your bring to the table.  Think about who you are: a neet or a messy, what kind of people do you want to hang with, what can you stand and what drives you nuts,what do you expect men to do, all of these and more you must think about.  Oh yes that little thing called lust.   What are your true feelings?  Always be your self so you are not projecting a lie.

  Good luck.

P.S.  here is the tool for nice guys.

cast iron skillet

Goldfish