How much rope do you give a guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
How much rope do you give a guy?
14
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 2:09am

Back on the erstwhile subject of Mr Hot n Cold.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 3:00pm

it seems you are describing someone with sociopathic qualities which would fit in with NPD. (just saying)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 2:35pm

Unfortunately, I think you are right, a lot of people behave one way in public and are completely different at home, or even once they get "confortable" around someone. I would rather be with someone who is the same, regardless of where they are and who is around, than someone who can turn on the charm when they feel like it

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 2:10pm

Music, I honestly never thought about that before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 11:59am

I guess we cant diagnosis Mr.Smith as we dont know him nor lived with him. I can only speak for what I have gone through but I do know that you might be talking about two different things.

A person with npd is a whole different ball of wax..as they say.

I have read that its a mental disorder and its not about being rich or sucessful or anything. Its also

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 11:16am

Don't you think that is why these kind of people become so successful in business, though, cause they need to focus all their energies on getting ahead?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 10:54am

Wow, Free, that sounds awful!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 7:33am

It is hard for me to recall as its been awhile since I dealt with the behavior but it was like my ex only cared about himself and what mattered to him.. Like if he wanted a new car he bought even if the family needed clothes or a washing machine.. He made sure that whatever he assumed he was entitled to he made sure that he got it.. I worked and I had to use my money for bare necessites as food and gas and ex used his for buying oil wells and lots of scams that were just that scams..

He also always made sure that I knew that the house we lived in was his. That he paid for it and that I was a tenant. He would remind me of that all the time.. He would also say that if I wanted to leave there is the door and just leave with nothing just like you came in and you can go and live in the street.. He also whined all the time about how miserable his life was and how bad he had it and well lets just say everything revolved around HIM and him and him.. Even when it was about me it was about him. I remember having to have some minor surgery in the hospital and he said I cant believe you are having surgery and what about me if you die.. Then what do I do.. Find another wife..

So it was always about him and what was best for him.. all the time and how he felt and how he was this or that and everyone else could just go and worry about themselves..

So when it was time for a divorce I had to actually study about npd so that I could get a divorce settlement and I had to fight

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 11:53pm

Really?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 10:19pm

I agree with Music and I will add that my ex husband had narcisstic personality disorder.. Please be careful as it is a mental disorder and I wouldnt wish that type of person on anyone.

There is a specialist on this and I think his name is Sam Vankin or something and he will go into detail about this. Just google it if you havent already.

It did sound to me like Mr.Smith was only into Mr.Smith. (sorry)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 9:14pm

Marina,

What would I do w/out your very interesting stories & man dilemmas?

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