How Often Do You Instant Message A Guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
How Often Do You Instant Message A Guy?
4
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 3:21am

Hi - New to this board. I posted on another board hours ago but no one has responded so I am posting here to see if I can get a response.

Recently back in the dating game. I'm having a great time. I met someone on line. I kind of like him. I am not looking for a boyfriend right now necessarily but we have a great physical connection and I have fun when I'm with him. I don't want to come on too strong and scare him off. I kind of want to hang back and let him make the moves. But I also want him to IM me and ask me when we can get together next. I don't want to be the one to do it so he doesn't think I'm "clingy" and go running the other way. You know how men are.

So I can see that he is online right now (I'm logged in as invisible so no one can see me online). Would it be wierd if I logged in but didn't message him? I just want him to see that I am available if he wants to IM me. That's how we've been communicating thus far. The last time we IM'd was yesterday afternoon. I initiated it and ended the conversation first, then felt like maybe I had been too curt and got back on and messaged him a little more, then ended it because I didn't want him to get bored. So should I log on but not IM him, or should I wait a few more days. Thanks for your advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 8:29am

Does he have your phone number/email address, or is your only method of communication via IM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 10:50am

I think you should just sit there as invisible watching him and where he goes like some invisible cyber stalker.

KIDDING!!!!

I am not a fan of IM. I used to use it all the time when I first got my computer 7 years ago but than it became such an annoyance I couldn't even come online without 20 people imming me so now I don't even bother turning it on when I am online my yahoo and msn is always on invisible and I rarely go on AIM unless I want to chat with my cousin.

I think if you two are already dating, already in the real world. Keep it there. Call him, or he can call you. Why slide backwards into imming.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 11:44am

Thanks! That is great advice from both of you. Ooooh, but I hope I didn't come off as a stalker. Yikes! Not my deal. I know you were just kidding..but just in case. I guess that was a little wierd.

Anywho, I'll give him a call this evening when I've got some time to chat and see if he wants to get together this weekend. :)

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 3:10pm
For me, phone calls, texts, and im's in the early stages of dating are kind of like a game of tennis . . . he volleys, then I volley back and so on.