How should I handle this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
How should I handle this?
2
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:40pm

I've been dating this guy for a little over a month and things are going great. He's has everything I've been looking for (so far, as we all know, no on is perfect). I already met his family and he's met mine and that went well too.

One thing that drives me NUTS is when a guy says he's going to call and doesn't (unless he has a reasonable explaination). I invited him to my house last night after his plans that he already had and he said that he would call me later. I'm not upset that he didn't come over but he didn't even call to say whether or not he would. This morning he sent me an "I miss you, call me when you can" message and I left a message for him. I still haven't heard back. I know people get busy but . . . it's weird. It's happened a few times where I'll leave a message and him and he doesn't call back sometimes if he gets home late.

Instead of dwelling on this, I would like to be honest with him and ask if everything is okay. What do you think the deal is and how can I approach the subject without sounding like a b*&%^? Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 4:39pm
He is acting like a person who is not really into you. If he was absolutely interested in starting something with you, he wouldn't be able to go a day without speaking to you and he wouldn't want to disappoint you by not calling you back. He may just be toying with you and you have to either to tell him how you feel and let him know you don't appreciate the fact the he not reliable and that you wish for him to follow through with his promises. Yes, it has only been a month but this obviously bothers you enough to post it on here so if you really want this to turn into a meaningful relationship you need to put your foot down and let him know how you want things to be. If after saying this to him he backs off than he was obviously not into you.
BABY #3!!
 
Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 6:39pm
Wow, it sounds like eery few days this guy goes into the witness relocation program. I am just kidding. I can give you advice, but I am not sure you want to hear it. Everything is not fine in your relationship if he is not returning calls. We live a world of pagers, blackberries, email, cell, home and work phones. Sort of being stranded on a desert island, there is never an excuse not to call. So what does that leave, he just didn't want to. Why? Who knows. Maybe he's seeing someone else, maybe he thought he liked you, but he changed his mind. The truth is you will probably never get a straight answer and it really isn't worth it to stick around waiting for one. Because whatever excuse he digs up, the bottom line is he is choosing not to call you. The next time he emerges from the unknown with an "I miss you" message, just be honest, tell him if he returned your calls in a timely manner he wouldn't have to miss you.