How tall does your guy have to be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
How tall does your guy have to be?
58
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 5:56pm

Hey there,

I hope everyone on the board has had a good and productive day.

Let's just say I am a happy guy in my early to mid-20s. I am really genuine, caring and can sometimes catch people off guard with my wit. I have firends and people who care about me. To myself I see a handsome man. I keep my perception at that becuase I'm pretty unpretenteous, and I know that if society got the best of me, I would not feel that way. I'm short. I'm not sure how short, 5'4"-5'5" or maybe a bit more but who cares, that's not the point. Short is short. How tall have your boyfriends been to qualify as a decent, elgible man? I am sure I will be a very happy single man in my later years, and so I am not bitter. I don't think that helps the cause. I'm looking for some folks to lay it on straight. Is height pretty much the most important thing to consider when you are choosing a mate? To tell you the truth I have not had much luck at all even getting dates from a wide spectrum of women, let alone establishing a relationship. Pity me not, but what I would appreciate is some good advice. I'm happy to pack it in and live life as a happy singleton. Would that be best for someone in my situation? Rid the gene pool of short people? haha, j/k

Have a fun evening,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 12:16pm
Oh, I'm sure! I think it's hard for both ends of the spectrum. Mine's, like, 28, hehe. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 12:25pm

>>I can't speak for the tall women, but they certainly don't make clothes shopping easy for the shorter set either! <<

I cant find a pair of pants that are both long enough and small enough in the waist to save my life. I hate shopping for that reason.

I think the danger, as illustrated by this conversation, is trying to define the "perfect" look for either a man or a woman. I think people of all shapes and sizes can be very attractive, and it's too bad that any of us need to feel "too" tall/short/thin/fat/blonde/brunette/whatever.

I know I have been attracted to a wide variety of men - hair color, height, build, look.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 1:15pm

No, you're right. I'm completely fine with being short, I actually love it, except for when I can't reach stuff, haha. But people also end up finding that cute, too. People do underestimate me, but I don't mind, it gives me a chance to surprise them and I do love surprising people...I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I look, physically and emotionally. I take more of an issue (or just become more frustrated by) the brunette/blonde deal. A friend of mine dyed her hair blonde and immediately got more attention. It's HAIR. I'm a brunette and definitely more than happy to be, I'd never dye my hair blonde (I actually just dyed it darker temporarily), but this fascination with blondes drives me a little nuts. Not that there's anything wrong with being blonde, I'm just saying. :)

As for shopping, I tend to get all excited about going and end up pissed off after trying on pants in eight thousand different stores. Maybe that's why I love shoes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 1:21pm

>>fascination with blondes drives me a little nuts. Not that there's anything wrong with being blonde, I'm just saying. :)<<

It's funny you say that. I am a natural blonde, and I've noticed recently that men (and the media in particular) seem to be favoring brunettes (especially the latin look).

I don't think I get more attention than brunettes here in Colorado. I do when I visit a place with fewer blondes in general, though. I was shocked at how much attention I received when I went to NYC the first time.

Maybe people just gravitate to the opposite look from themselves - tall guy/short girl, redhead-fair-skinned girl/olive skin-dark hair guy. :) Who knows. (Although, personally, I do like blonde guys as much as dark-haired guys)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 1:36pm

I have issues shopping as well, which is why I gravitate towards bras and panties (although bras are hard, too).

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:54pm

>>Maybe people just gravitate to the opposite look from themselves - tall guy/short girl, redhead-fair-skinned girl/olive skin-dark hair guy. :) Who knows. (Although, personally, I do like blonde guys as much as dark-haired guys)

Hmm, interesting...I can see that in a lot of cases, that makes sense. Attraction in an interesting concept.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 3:45pm
Interesting answers. I think the whole opposites attract theory probably has little substance to it I might add, or it is an anomally with shorter men becase most tall women justify their taste in even taller men becuase they are tall themselves. They certainly not going after shorter men. As for the comment about bisexuality, I see it only as a way for people to increase thier chances of finding a companion, a soulmate. I do wish that I was attracted to men as much you ladies are becuase I can tell you first hand how gay emn have been forgiving of my height as opposed to women, and how much that has meant to me that someone has show interest in me becuase of me and not becuase of what I have or what I represent to them. Despite not being gay, I can tell you that men are very special people, and how lucky ladies are to have them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 4:29pm

Well, like I said, a lot of my average height friends go for average height and/or shorter men. I think the extremes are a little more drawn to each other (ie tall guys and short - truly short, like 5'2" and under - women) maybe.

Regardless, I think you're putting WAY too much weight on your height. I don't think I don't attract men because I'm a brunette or because I'm shorter than average or whatever other thing about myself I could fill that blank with. I've been in a rut of sorts for the last half-year or so (longer than that, actually), but I'm not blaming it on anything, it's just a rut. I know PLENTY of short men that have NO trouble with women. Hell, my dad's 5'4" on a good day (how I got to be 4'11") and my mom's his height and I know he never had any trouble with women before that (he actually has a few stories that have definitely generated a few eye rolls before). The best way to getting people to look past your height is just not to think about it, not to have a complex about it. Trust me, I've been there. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 4:30pm

I feel for you. However, do not loose hope. By male standard of ave ht=5.10, you're very short. How you tried asking out very short women? i.e. 4'9-4.11. What helps with a short man is body shape so try to get into good shape (not buffed-that's gross on a short frame) but toned and proportional. Work on other things that make a man attractive. Success and brains are very attractive in a man so work on being successful and be confident.

I myself generally find that the minimum acceptable ht is 5'8" (I'm 5.3) but a couple of times I found a couple of guys maybe 5'6-5'7 very attractive b/c they had nice fit bodies and were successful and smart. On the other end of the spectrum I used to think 6'3" was too tall and felt awkward when I went out a guys at that heigh. However, at this time I'm insanely attracted to a man who's 6'5". I guess my point here is along with what you could do to make yourself more attractive, to the right woman, ht is not a huge factor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 4:49pm

I am 5'1". The shortest guy I ever dated was 5'8". I haven't really planned on it, perhaps if was some unconcious need to better the gene pool, but my dad is only 5'3" and he is the toughest, best guy I know. If I meet a guy with his qualities, I wouldn't care how tall or short he is. This is in Puerto Rico, so height is not such a big issue. In the US, people are obsesed with size.

What matters most is confidence. I have meet some shorter guys who are insecure about their height and they tend to compensate with overly loud personalities. This is not really my thing, I like guys who are more mellow, so maybe that why I haven't dated those guys in particular.

I also get the impression shorter guys go for tall women. It can't remember the last time a guy hit on me in a club who was on the shorter side. I also had the biggest crush on this short guy in college and he never gave me the time of day. I always wondered about that. Maybe he was trying to better the gene pool. Let's hope we don't rid the gene pool of short people, we do live longer after all. Best advice, people are made all sizes for a reason, we need variety.