How tall does your guy have to be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
How tall does your guy have to be?
58
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 5:56pm

Hey there,

I hope everyone on the board has had a good and productive day.

Let's just say I am a happy guy in my early to mid-20s. I am really genuine, caring and can sometimes catch people off guard with my wit. I have firends and people who care about me. To myself I see a handsome man. I keep my perception at that becuase I'm pretty unpretenteous, and I know that if society got the best of me, I would not feel that way. I'm short. I'm not sure how short, 5'4"-5'5" or maybe a bit more but who cares, that's not the point. Short is short. How tall have your boyfriends been to qualify as a decent, elgible man? I am sure I will be a very happy single man in my later years, and so I am not bitter. I don't think that helps the cause. I'm looking for some folks to lay it on straight. Is height pretty much the most important thing to consider when you are choosing a mate? To tell you the truth I have not had much luck at all even getting dates from a wide spectrum of women, let alone establishing a relationship. Pity me not, but what I would appreciate is some good advice. I'm happy to pack it in and live life as a happy singleton. Would that be best for someone in my situation? Rid the gene pool of short people? haha, j/k

Have a fun evening,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 8:59pm

Yep . . .I was thinking the same thing. I don’t even have an issue with it . . pretty comen in my world . .a big part of the people in my profeshional relationships swing that way . . . . good people . . . but is this a hight thing . . or a “life defineing “ moment thing? Got to be honest with yourself kid. What are you saying? Answer yourself . . forget the board. Sounds to me like this goes beyound hight. I think you might be testing that closet door. If that is you . . don’t test . . push. Open it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 9:55pm

*****You know, this brings up the flip side to the conversation. Do men prefer shorter women? *****
Well for you I want to respond . . .(-:

I am 6’3” tall and 46 . . . in all these years until last December . . . I never have “ended up” in a relationship with a woman above 5”2” . . (5’ 9” I think this last time.)
And I find tall women totally hot! LOL . . . In the end . . it is no different than what the girls are saying. We meet who we meet, and I don’t place looks in general above the “person” I meet . . . it is just timing. It has never had a thing to do with “preference” . . . I just was never so closed minded as to exclude shorter women.

Every tall woman I have ever met . . been totality attracted to . . she was married / attached or I was . . . and so far when I was free to shop . . .it has just been blind chance who I met first.

In a perfect world . . I get to just “place an order” . . . tall wins. (-: Every time. ((-: But . . we have to “see” more than that, don’t we?

And . . . . I know sooo many guys who love tall girls . . but are intimidated by them . . .seem to think you have “sooo” much to chose from they stand no chance. Fear is a terrible waste of time and opportunity.

For what it is worth . . .shave 20 years off my age . . .put me in a room with you in your home town. . .I would give it a shot. (-: You are smart, clearly care enough to assist people you don’t know . . have uncommon insight for your age . . . I have a feeling you just “out ran” a few of the men around you. They will start catching up soon. (-: Have faith kid . . .its out there. Give them a moment to grow up. (-:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 9:59pm
Try 38 . . . .LOL and for YEARS . . .a 28 waist. I am "fat" now . . .a whole 36" waist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 10:23pm

OK . . .say the word designer . . almost ten years I have been in this business. I like these guys . .and girls for that matter . . one of my dearest and closest female friends has no clue what a closet is . . in fact . . I think she is writing a text book about it.

Every ounce of my “gut” tells me you are talking to this room . . . step up my man. I am 100% straight . . I could never be anything different . . it is in my soul . .and what makes me happy . . . what is in yours? You do get until you get a set of balls, figure out what exactly you are, and what you need to be happy . .you never will be happy don’t you? You get that much? Right?

A lot of people are reading this . . .and I know you know that. Does it help at all if a straight guy says go for it? Honesty is huge with me . . step up . . or shut up. I respect my gay friends who are who they are and respect who I am . . .it is ALL about honesty. Cowards are that. Are you testing waters . . or coming out? Decide

A little nudge now and then is a healthy thing. (-: Seems you have a choice to make.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 2:40am

>It's just something that I cannot change - I am not attracted to even averagely tall blokes, never have been.

The question more importantly is, are they attracted to YOU ?




Edited 6/9/2007 6:14 am ET by fruitedplain
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 8:26am

Well I am 5'4 I am used to dating men over 6 feet tall because those are the men that usually date me. But I have dated shorter, it usually isn't really about height for me, it is really about attraction, and compatibility. I know a lot of women won't date men under a certain height and so that's really too bad. But for me it's about chemistry, personality and conversation I dated a guy that if he was 5'6 on a good day he was lucky.

I don't think I've ever dated anyone shorter but only because they never asked. I am really attracted to a guy at work and he's most likely about the same height as me.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 8:31am
I was going to say come to New England they'll be drooling at you, nobody looks at us brunettes in New England. LOL

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 10:43am

I came on a little strong . . . the whole come out thing. I want to explain . .I think I over reacted some to what I read.

One of my good friends just ran into this . . the guy she was living with kind of decided two years into there "relationship" to lay that minor little bomb shell on her . . he found a guy. She is pretty devastated. And the fact it was a man is making it worse . . rocked her kind of hard.

If the responses were glib . . sorry (-:. .. if not . .figure it out, it is unfair to "hide" with a woman if your attractions are with men. It is like driving drunk, puts others at risk. Important stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 12:02pm

****I mean sometimes I think about possibly having a relationship with a man becuase a number of men have expressed interest in getting to know me better, romantically. I ask these questions in all honesty becuase I want a relationship, most preferably with a woman, but if height is too much of a dealbreaker I think I will try men becuase they don't seem to mind my height at all.*****

This has begun a conversation with my gay professor friend . . .

I over reacted to this, and I think to many ignored it.
Would I be completely wrong in assuming a "specific" man is attached to these comments, and that you felt "attraction"?

One of my gay male friends explained it to me this way one time. He told me to consider how I feel a total attraction with a woman, not just sex, but that fluttering heart, all of that. (-: Real attraction. He asked me if I ever felt that looking at or with men . .. He said that is how it is for him, he feels those things about men. He has never felt it for a woman. Simple really.
My "female" professor friend just figured this out about herself a few years back after spending years in disastrous relationships. Now she is in a very committed relationship and very happy. She pointed out how difficult it is to "come out". Her being who she is .. . White male privilege lost, not a bad starting point, a lot of people react badly to it. It is not easy and will have some price tags. But if this was real, your happiness and that of others will require you to sort this out.

Anyway, I just got the feeling this was not glib at all ..that you had someone specific in mind and were in fact looking for reaction. What you got was this comment largely untouched, me being kind of a bully about it, and a few glib remarks. If you were testing the water, it likely was not encouraging to you. Per my friends description, it is nearly impossible to feel that "attraction" if it is not real. The "Professor" said I should have been more supportive, she knows me well, and knows why I reacted the way I did and the circumstances around it, and she also knows I am better than that. Clearly I have enough friends in committed relationships that are gay to not just except this, but to care how they are treated.

So I decided to put this out there in the right perspective, the right way, and encourage you to talk about it if this is the real crux of things. A few will . .. not respond well . . but if you jump into this, if there is someone specific . . a few might surprise you.

Then again, I might have misread . ..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 9:06pm
Oh, don't say that, it's depressing!! :) But also shows why I felt annoyed about the blonde thing since I live in Boston....