How tall does your guy have to be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
How tall does your guy have to be?
58
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 5:56pm

Hey there,

I hope everyone on the board has had a good and productive day.

Let's just say I am a happy guy in my early to mid-20s. I am really genuine, caring and can sometimes catch people off guard with my wit. I have firends and people who care about me. To myself I see a handsome man. I keep my perception at that becuase I'm pretty unpretenteous, and I know that if society got the best of me, I would not feel that way. I'm short. I'm not sure how short, 5'4"-5'5" or maybe a bit more but who cares, that's not the point. Short is short. How tall have your boyfriends been to qualify as a decent, elgible man? I am sure I will be a very happy single man in my later years, and so I am not bitter. I don't think that helps the cause. I'm looking for some folks to lay it on straight. Is height pretty much the most important thing to consider when you are choosing a mate? To tell you the truth I have not had much luck at all even getting dates from a wide spectrum of women, let alone establishing a relationship. Pity me not, but what I would appreciate is some good advice. I'm happy to pack it in and live life as a happy singleton. Would that be best for someone in my situation? Rid the gene pool of short people? haha, j/k

Have a fun evening,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 11:29pm

I decided to share a small part of my conversations with the "Professor" . . . this was in context of how hard it must be for a man compared to a woman to face the emotions expressed in these posts. . . .as well as hours we have spent talking about her own experience. She has told me I am the "only" man she knows who is not looking for a cheap thrill . . . . the stories she tells me . .friends, family, my ex girlfriends ex boy friends . . . very sad. I just found myself feeling a bit guilty about my first responses . . I would have pulled them back if I could.

In time . . .I will invite her to drop in . . but not until I know how to remove things I say. (-: I tell her I am here . .and in general that I share our conversations . . but I would hate for her to see how much I . . . agree at times. (-: We built our relationship on political war, flat out war . . . and emotional truth. This is a woman I love. She is a real friend. But in this case . . conflict is important. I would hate for her to know I “ever” agree with her. LOL

These are her words. . . .

"elwood - i would venture to guess that it is more difficult for a man to come out than it is for a woman for a few reasons. I think lesbians are tolerated more - for the wrong reasons, but tolerated nonetheless. lesbians having sex is a male fantasy and so lesbians aren't held in the same disdainful regard that gay men are by other (heterosexual) men. moreover, i think it's a macho thing - men are so fearful as being seen as gay that they are very hard on gay men or men who they think have gay tendencies... just to "prove" they are not like them.

i think gay men are in a predicament - if they're white guys, they've still got that privilege - did
you know that gay men tend to be some of the most financially successful people in our communities? but as a gay person they're discriminated against... not more than lesbians, but differently.

so you're right-lesbians are not really accepted - they're just a turn on to men, so they (we) serve a purpose.

anyway, i think we should be very sensitive to issues of coming out - it's not easy for people. not just because society at large discriminates against gays, but because their very own families, their parents discriminate against them and reject them and ridicule them; they are the people who should love them unconditionally. by not doing so, they set their children up to not be equipped to handle being gay in society.... so we deny it and reject it in ourselves, and if we are aware of it, we are very reluctant to let others know, because it may not be safe."

I find right and wrong in her words. . . . I was wrong to be a prick in my own words. To my other posts . . .I think saying I am sorry now is not wrong. I wish I had said things difernty.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:02am

It is kind of annoying but I love my brown hair and I would never dye it just to get a man. LOL I'm in MA too but moving back to NH at the end of the month...still demographic though...*sigh* they all just drool over blondes. However when I was married and lived in California I always got hit on. I guess too many blondes out there. HAHA

I'll have to win them over with my obnoxious laugh. HAHA




Edited 6/10/2007 8:05 am ET by lovinhockey17

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 1:20pm
Thank you for your concern, Elwood. I would never say I was going to try out men in public- you are right. I am heterosexual, but I face a reality that many other men face - being undesirable. I have been expresssing in subtle ways that I don't feeel there is such a thing as male priviledge for the vast majority of men.I feel there are only different people occupying varying positions of power at different times. I am looking for a partner. If you had been rejected 50-60 times with friends, aquaintances, and women you've just met, perhaps you can now realise how a heterosexual man could push himself into the possibility of having a relationship with a man. This does not sound like I am experiencing male priviledge in this area of my life. Ladies, If not a man had expressed interest in you, and not one man you had asked out returned the interest, would it not be that unrealistic that you would consider having a relationship with the same-sex, especially if the options were there to do - so unlike a heterosexual relationship?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 3:55pm

I haven't been in a RS for 10 yrs and haven't had any kind of prolonged dating experience for nearly a year. But I'm not at all attracted to women even if one as hot as Angelina Jolie asked me out I wouldn't consider it. I'm not homophobic by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just not sexually attracted to women.

Sexuality like most things is a spectrum, some people are like me, who has no attraction towards the same sex and some are exclusively homosexual. Most people fall somewhere in between. For someone who has some tendency, being in the right situations would change their preference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 6:54pm

I continue to find your answers a bit confusing. (-: I still think you are testing the waters a little . . . I “posted” a very small part of a conversation I had with some one who understands this far better than I . . . she had to come to terms with this in her own life. She assists me in understanding how hard it is to . . . “see” this . . .to come to terms with it. (And frankly, she is a woman who means a great deal to me, knows everything about me . . . a very close friend.)

I read the next post as well . . .and I think she has something . . . . straight never does really ask this question . . . .

Is you “attraction” in the fact that these guys are accepting you only . . . . or do you in fact feel an attraction to them? I think it is important for you to figure this out. I just don’t believe this is something any of us get to fake. If you feel that . . . .”flutter” . . that slight tremble in your hands . . . . then I think you need to “explore” the possibilities . . .

I am not gay . . but I do know what it feels like to meet someone very special . . . and I freely admit . . I can do single well . . be very happy . . . have my fun . . . but . . I am not compete without my “partner” . . . for me . .that is a woman . . .no question. The very fact you do question this . . . well I have a female friend suffering a great deal of pain right now because a man did not face this sooner . . . as much of a bully as a was in the beginning . . . . do you understand the importance of getting this right for not only yourself . . .but those you might meet? If this is a real question . . . .others stand to get hurt if you run from it. This requires great courage on your part . If you go men . . .very hard thing for you even with the wonderful women on this board . . .I would guess you lose half of them . . . men . . .oh god . . .I might be the only “straight man” who in the end is still around to support you. . . . . . I think you are at a defining moment in life. Be happy, or be accepted. And you are right . . .white male privilege . . .I “HATE” that conversation with my friend . . I don’t feel much of that these days . . .but she is not wrong. You walk away from a lot with the choice to step over the line.

Key in on “her” words . . regarding income, etc . . .you will be OK, what ever you chose. As big a prick as I came across . . . I might be your strongest supporter. Forget what I might not understand 100% . . . I do respect honesty and courage every time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:40pm
Hmm . . .decided to deleat.


Edited 6/11/2007 4:56 am ET by elwood1960
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 9:33pm
It probably does have something to do with there being more brunettes in New England, so everyone goes for a the standouts. But I'm with you, I'd NEVER dye my hair blonde, I have no interest. Plus I think I'd look weird blonde, haha. I'm thinking about dying it darker....I have a LOT of red in my hair, which I love but need a change....I've gone completely off topic. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 9:47pm
Not one? Well, all I can say is that I think you're misplacing the blame (so to speak) on your height....I feel for you and I don't know what the issue with you and women could be, but I'm almost certain it is NOT your height, so don't worry too much about that. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 10:18pm
as long as my guy is taller then me and I can wear heels and still be shorter I'm happy. but i'm only 4'10" so i've grown up looking up to everyone it creeps me out when someone is even close to my height. if your cute and you take care of yourself you can get any girl worth while.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 5:41am

They are indeed. The shortest man I have ever dated was my ex-h who was 5.10 - and that was way too short for me. Since then, my partners have been from 6 to 6.5 ft tall, and my bf is 6.2. None of them ever minded that I was only 5.3!