How to tell if a shy guy likes you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
How to tell if a shy guy likes you?
2
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 3:04pm

Ok I know this guy at work and he's really cute and nice. I asked him to help me with a project and he agreed. We met outside of work a few times and during those times we had some long conversations. Nothing really too personal. Mainly chit chat and about our families some but nothing about relationships or anything. He did tell me that he is "extremely shy and quiet" (his exact words). When we talked about getting together again to work on this project he mentioned to me that he would have a lot of free time so I am guessing that means he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Well he has now left this job and gotten a new one. He has a book of mine that he borrowed and on his last day of work he didn't bring it. When I was leaving and saying goodbye to him he said he'd call me when he was done with it. Its been almost a week and he hasn't called yet. We had also been emailing some these past few weeks, mostly about this project but a little bit of small talk too. He also gave me his home email as I had been using his work one but after he's gone he won't have access to that one anymore.

My problem is I'm not sure if he's interested. I think he might be but since he admitted to me that he is shy its so hard to tell! When we were saying good bye on his last day, I touched his arm and I think he was about to hug me but then I dropped my arm and he didn't. It happened so fast I was kicking myself later for not hugging him.

So does anyone have any experience with shy guys and how to tell with them? Should I still wait for him to call or go ahead and email him or something and ask how his new job is?

Thanks!




Edited 5/19/2006 3:08 pm ET by scooby478
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 6:50pm
You can email him and ask him how things are with his job. Maybe he needs a nudge since he's shy. He's probably also busy with his new job which is probably why you haven't heard from him.
The thing with shy guys is that you never know if they're really into you, sort of into you or not into you at all. I think if I feel as though I have to do all the work for him then it's not worth it.
The thing with emailing is that it probably will go back and forth without any type of phone contact.
I'm afraid you'll have to play this one by ear. If you find yourself making too much effort, meaning you're doing all of the contacting and he's just being really laid back, then it's not worth it in my opinion. You can give him the nudge. Email him but if he's not taking it and running with it, then it's not worth it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 9:08pm
New job aside, you definitely have a reason to e-mail him... to ask for the book back and this obviously can lead to a coffee date. Over coffee, you try to pick up on his signals and if you're still not certain, then in a very non-threatening way, you can ask if he would like to get together again and if so, let him make the plan.