I am Dying inside here :( UPDATE
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|Mon, 07-30-2012 - 12:56am|
Well today I found an article on how to get over a 'crush'/lust and one of the many helpful suggestions I have taken to heart and I'm going to read it over and overand OVER again until it is in grained in my head!!!!
Basically it told me to make a list of the things that you don't like about the person...something negative and although I did find myself repeating some of the things BUT wording them differently...it STILL came up to 21 things!
Also about asking the ex-fwb to help me move...that's scratched too...my friend and wing-woman is friends with LOTS of guys so the new plan will be for her to gather some of those men up to help me move... All this came about yesterday after I once again took 20 steps back..Basically what had happened was that I had in a moment of weakness and assuming that we were cool with one another..I had asked him if I could come over to hang out and catch up...well he responded no and then he asked me if he could come over to my place instead...well I said yes and he told me that he would be over at 1030pm friday night.well I cleaned up my place while watching the Olympics and waited for him to show up...WELL obviously he was a no-show....so since I didn't have his number I e-mailed him to ask him if he was still on his way...1hour after he was suppose to be at my place already...well around 11pm I thought to myself...he BETTER call me to cancel and he did...3MINUTES before MIDNIGHT!!..he calls me and states that he had been helping a friend move ..well when he had called me..he had already been in bed trying to get some sleep after he had taken his Ambien...The simple fact is that he should have called me WAY before that AND he's just playing with me like some rag doll .....he NEVER respected me and he NEVER WILL and no matter WHAT it takes...I will STICK to my list of things that he has done to me so that I will NEVER forget so there will NEVER be another weak moment because his word means nothing to me because he has never kept his word with me on ANYTHING yet I kept giving him chance after chance after chance..and in the process just only managed to break my heart more and more.
Well going out last night...I had SO much fun and realized that I need to keep doing what I'm doing and reading that list if I even feel a slight sway...It really will be HIS loss and I feel now that I will finally be moving on more in a positive direction instead of being stagnant.Thank you everyone!!!