I am mean again to my x-bf

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
I am mean again to my x-bf
Sun, 02-16-2014 - 11:38pm

we've been hanging out again. The last woman he dated didn't work out.

anyhoo, I've come the realization that I was mean to him. Always putting him down for his past mistakes, critical of his financial skills.

Today I told him I was sorry for my behavior. He said it wasn't so much that but it was my coldness. The coldness was the result of my disappointment in him. He felt I was rejecting him and five years was long enough to keep trying.

Today we hung out in the morning. We had breakfast, went furniture shopping. I snooped again and found out he had asked out a woman who works at another major furniture store. They go on their second date tonight actually. I got mean again and tell him not to buy things from there b/c of strict return policy and beware of those sale people. they're like shark b/c they work on comission at that place. I know where to get nice things for less and I'm not trying to sell him anything. Better to date professional woman, etc...

I know I'm hurt more than anything. I even told him it's unfair for me to hold him back but I can't help it. He's rejecting me.

But then I thought how cold he was to me when he was dating that other woman. He's nice to me now b/c he doesn't have anybody. Hard to understand people's emotion.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 02-19-2014 - 1:41pm

okay it sounds like you two are just comfortable with each other because of the long relationship you both had.. It makes sense to me and just like when people are married and want to get a divorce so bad but they are afraid to be alone so they stay together for that purpose but they are miserable in the process.

This will either fizzle out or will continue on this way and the first thing I am thinking is someone has to be the bigger person. Either he will tell you he is done or you tell him you are done....or this will just lag on indefinitely and just remain status quo... If both of you are willing to deal with that then okay... If not I def. would suggest some counseling or searcing your soul and getting to a point where you love yourself more than any man or any type of relationship........ It does appear and sorry that you have issue.. heck we are all lonely and want someone and yes we are aging but like the other said it is really not good to compromise your soul and heart and psyche for one man whom you say has so many flaws..and whom you cant accept for who he is..

But then if he is dating he  might just find someone else and move on..........................I dont think men stick around too long with someone who is  not feeding their heart, soul and ego and psyche...