I broke up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
I broke up...
15
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 2:08pm
well, after beating around the bush for a while, my boyfriend and I finally had the talk about how we see our future. And basically, he doesn't see a future for us, so I guess that's that. I've spent nearly two years on this man, and I feel quiet awfully betrayed and let down. I am glad that I can move on with my life and find a good relationship, but right now I am mostly a miserable mess. And I guess I was just hoping for a few kind words, maybe a little advice. Thank you so much.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 10:31pm

I think some people can stay in realtionships that long who can't or don't want to commit. They just enjoy the happiness of what they have as long as they can. I couldn't. I am sorry for what you are going through.

My last man friend was with me for 2 years and he walked out pretty fast, like all the soul mate talk and " I love yous" were not real. Guess they were real for the moment but not for a long time relationship. I was really hurt, we do the best we can. Took me 3 years to get over him. I still can't kiss anyone with any meaning YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all recover, I guess. Be very good to yourself, do the grieving and be especially good to yourself. Lots of treats, facials etc Hugs, leila

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 12:24am
I was wondering how long I should wait to start dating again. Honestly, I am already raring to go. I guess I have suspected for a while that I wouldn't be marrying my ex, so I have sort of been keeping my eyes open. A guy asked me out about a month ago, and I really thought about accepting. I didn't, but I'm already thinking of new prospects. I was thinking I should probably hold myself back for a bit, though, while I'm still on the roller coaster of the breakup. It's tempting to look for a quick replacement, but I could just be setting myself up for more disappointment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 12:38am
Hmm. Well, only you really know for sure when its time to start dating again, and what to expect from it. One thing I wanted to bring up is that your first post made it seem that the decision was mutual? I am going to assume you might feel bad for a time, but not like seriously depressed. Maybe the fact, that you got some kind of closure means that you wil lbe able to move into another relationship that much faster. Whether it be short term or long term. I guess the only thing I can thing to say is that next time if you feel like the relationship is really going somewhere find out what his intentions are soon. Actually, maybe with your next guy, ( by the first couple of dates ) you could just drop in some little tidbits about your last boyfriend and see how the guy reacts. Sure it might set him back a little, but after a few drinks you can bs about anything and not worry about it :P
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 12:04pm

:) thank you for giving me a little laugh!

I suppose the decision to break up was fairly mutual, though difficult. And actually, I do indeed feel that I have some closure. I was thinking last night that my boyfriend and I had been walking down a dead-end path. It was a lovely path, lined with some beautiful flowers and overhanging trees rustling in the wind, but nonetheless, it was not a through street. And i saw the signs saying that, even if I chose to ignore them to keep on enjoying the walk. But eventually we had to come to the end, and it is a bummer to be there, but there is nothing to do but turn around and find a new street.

This relationship and experience has taught me some lessons. I think I will be less afraid to assess a future relationship earlier, and I think that in the right relationship, I won't fear asking those questions, because the answers won't be scary. Maybe we'll even both be asking the questions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 12:06pm

"Just know, the hardest part is over. And you are one step closer to finding what you are searching for.... "

That is beautiful - thank you so much!

Pages