I did something maybe a little crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
I did something maybe a little crazy
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 11:09am

Well not really crazy, but daring for me.  So I have gone to this meetup group for singles over 50 and there is a guy R who is the organizer.  I have seen him more over the summer cause we did some outdoor concerts and some dancing in a bar, so I have seen him 4x this summer.  The last time we were together, we went to an outdoor concert & then a group went out to eat and we mentioned that we both had next week off.  He said something about renting a place near the beach and "maybe you would like to come down."  I said that would be nice, but didn't hear anything more so I wasn't sure whether he meant it.  I also told him I might be going to visit my DD.  Well as it turns out I'm not going to visit my DD, don't really have anything to do, so I just decided to email him to ask if he was still on vacation this week.  If he said yes, I was going to ask him if he wanted to go to the beach or do something.

so he writes back & says that "we" are going to rent this beach house and would I like to come down for "one, two or three days."  lol  So I wrote back that I needed details and by the way, who is "we?"  So the other definite person (who I assumed it would be) is a woman I know (and luckily like) who is also I lawyer.  That would make it more comfortable that I know someone else.  And then there are some other people who might or might not come.  I asked him about the cost and he said "I invited you as a guest" but if you want to stay the whole week or several days, we could get a bigger place, etc.,  so I actually decided I am going to go for a few days.  I figure I like both of them, he sent me the listing for the house, which looks very cute, it's right near the beach and I need some time to relax and it's only about an hour from my house and will be very cheap.  But it is kind of crazy to decide to go away with people I don't  know that well, but whatever...we're middle aged professional people, not 25 yr old partiers.

So either I am going to learn that I really like this guy as we get to know each other better...or not!  lol  And I'm not totally sure if there is a relationship between R & the woman but I am thinking not.  If they were a couple, why not just go on a romantic vacation together instead of inviting people--and him inviting a woman would make it really odd.  I do know the house has 3 BRs so I guess I'll just wait & see if they go to separate BRs then.  Of the times we have been together, I haven't seen any romantic type gestures going on--no hand holding or anything like that. 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 11:29am

Wow Music... what a great move!!

This was such a cool 'we only live once' thing to do!! What have you got to loose..?? Nothing whatsoever. Always much much better to be with likeminded people of the same age than home alone.

I really do hope that R is after you big time and that you will have a great time! If he's not...you still get to go away somewhere new and be with people!

Do let us know what happens!! ISmile

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 12:10pm

How exciting!  And yes, brave.  :) 

I agree that you will figure out pretty quickly if you want to get to know this guy better, or not.  Worst case scenario is you get some quiet time to your self.  Can't really go wrong. 

Isn't it nice being so close to the coast!  I am, too. 

Serenity CL making a second marriage work

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 2:02pm

I am a beach lover and yet I feel like the only time I go is when I am on vacation cause I really don't have anyone to go with.  then again, I don't really bug my friends about going to the beach.  My best friend also loves the beach but she is in RI (where I used to live).  I don't want to drive an hour (without traffic) to the beach when there is one close to my house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 6:43pm

That sounds great, and not crazy at all!

Yes, I do remember renting a house on MV when I was 25, and having a blast.....but this is totally different.  Sounds like it will be fun.  There's something about being on the water.

I am also on vacation next week, heading to a family house near the beach in RI for part of the time.  Hoping for good weather for both of us.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 8:07pm

That sounds like so much fun.  I was wondering about the other female too, glad you mentioned it at the end ;)  I hope you have a great time whether he's available or not ;)

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 8:13pm

I don't think that sounds crazy at all. You are driving down yourself so you can leave if things go sour, right?  Not having a way to escape- now that would be crazy. 

Have fun!! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 08-24-2013 - 1:27am

If nothing else it could be interesting. I was for some reason thinking wouldn't it be funny if this other lady lawyer is interested in him too, and she's also wondering if he's interested in her? That is unless it becomes obvious that the two of them are already romantically involved when you get there. If nothing else you all could become better friends after the trip. Just go have fun regardless of what happens, but do let us know the outcome. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Sat, 08-24-2013 - 10:26am

I once read a book that I think was entitled The Seven Secrets of Happiness. They interviewed old, wise people in many cultures who everyone seemed to go to for advice. These people said that they had no regrets in life because they were happy of the risks they took throughout their lives, even if the risk didn't pan out. Hope your vacation time there is fun. Looking forward to hearing about it.

P.S. I also once lived in R.I. Was born there and moved when I was 11. Take care. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 08-24-2013 - 11:39am

Do you still live in New England?  My uncle had a beach house in Narragansett, RI (my cousin owns it now) and I loved going down there when I was a kid & spending the day at the beach w/ my cousins.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 08-25-2013 - 7:58am

That sounds like a great move Music and of course since it is close to home you can leave anytime you want if it feels uncomfortable..

I would be wondering tho ugh about the intention or motive of this man though if there is one .. Lets see either he wants a French threesome or he just needs your money to pay for this place or he is a nice guy and wanted to invite you and get to know you... Unfortunately for us older gals we always want the romance and are going with the intention of oh; maybe he likes me and wants to date or  maybe he wants sex... We cant read minds so go with an open mind but of course its very challenging not to think in the romantic terms.. I would be asking myself the same questions?? Does this guy like me or is it something else????

How tough is it to go with an open mind but you are going to have to just go and have fun and be in the moment of it all...

Good Luck and hope for the best but dont have any expectations....!!!!!! well fun of course but that is it..