I don’t chase women

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
I don’t chase women
24
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 5:08am

It’s not that I am super hunk but if we end up kissing intimately by the 3rd date (usually on the 2nd) things usually become uncomplicated and progress smoothly. If I don’t hear from a woman after the 2nd date or if her communication wanes I just assume that she isn’t interested. I don’t bother making too much of an effort to contact her again either.

Any thoughts/opinions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 6:43pm

No-you cannot make someone like or love you. But, don't you think it's worth it to at least call once-maybe there was just some lost communication? Or like you said-maybe was not that into you. But, I think it's worth a phone call to find out. Ask her to be honest-if she is mature she will be straight with you-and who knows maybe she'll tell you something you can learn from.

:)gl

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:29am
Yes, I think the same is true for men....well, me at least!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:45am

>maybe there was just some lost communication?

That is impossible. I met her online and we both still have our profiles up. She has my e-mail address, my ICQ number and my mobile phone number so there can be no excuse. But I am not specifically talking about this instance I am speaking generally. I should have actually said, "I don’t chase women anymore". I did once or twice way in the past but I have learnt that there is an obvious difference between a woman that is keen and one that isn't. There is nothing I can learn from her other than the reason/s why SHE isn’t into me and I have no desire to adapt myself to her requirements.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:15pm

Hi there Hal,

Forst off i would like to say that it was great hearing from you.

I myself have come to the conclusion that dating is a very interesting thing. The process always seems to go something liek this:

Girl and guy meet. Exchange of phone numbers takes place.
Guy calls girl and asks her out. Girl says yes and is advised by everyone to "play hard to get".
On date girl plays hard to get hoping that guy will show more interest in her.
Guy thinks that girl isn't interested after the first or second date so he decides not to call her back.
Girl is actually interested and is upset that guy hasn't called her back but won't call him because she is playing hard to get.

Lather rinse and repeat!

Dating is such a funny thing because it is very much a social institution. As a woman i am told that i am supposed to be unavailable, or play hard to get becuase guys like that. But the problem i am finding arising is many men aren't interested in playing these kinds of games anymore. It really does suck chasing after someone and while it may be fun for a few days it gets old and frustrating after a while.

I myself find that i act very much like a guy in many ways. I have no problems calling a guy up and inviting him out to dinner, paying for the dinner myself, or picking him up for a date. If i am interested in a guy i am not going to play hard to get or pretend i don't like him. If there is chemistry then there is chemistry and why mess with it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:45pm
So, hal, lemme ask you this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:57pm
Good question. I'd like an answer to that one.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:09pm

Fair enough. You want a woman who is willing to chase after a guy, and if that's what you want, so be it! We are all entitled to our preferences. But you do need to realize that a sizeable percentage of women are NOT going to behave that way. So long as you know and accept that, it's all good ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 2:18am

Hi Stacey,

>If you see a woman who catches your eye, do you do
>ANYTHING to throw her a bone? Show any sign of
>interest whatsoever?

Yes, absolutely. If you read my original post you will see that my point of reference is from the 1st date. However in saying this, if a woman plays hard to get by refusing to accept my first request for a date she won't get a second. To me, "no" means "no", just like "I'm busy that weekend/night/day" etc. My advice to women is - If you like the man, accept the date. It doesn't scare men or put them off because only players like the "thrill" of the chase. Decent men like the "thrill" of an interesting, unique, genuine, intelligent and sophisticated woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 2:21am

>You want a woman who is willing to chase after a guy

No. I was merely stating that from experience I can tell the difference between a woman that is keen and one that isn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:12am

Hal,

Ahhh ... I see what you are saying ... if you ask a woman out and she says she is busy and doesn't suggest an alternative date, then I agree, let her go. You don't want to waste your time on a woman who plays games. Trust your gut instinct.

Feisty




Edited 8/30/2006 3:14 am ET by feisty01