I dont know what to make of this

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
I dont know what to make of this
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 1:31am

Hi guys;

I dont want to burden the singles board but since I know you guys and you know me the best I will update you with this.

Things are not getting any better for me and mom.. My sister has not had her house inspected to get the power back on and I dont know why. her house is still without power..Most of the neighborhood has power now except her house.. most people got the inspection.. She says for us not to go back to live there now..

She told me today that I cant go back there and get anything because she changed the front door locks.. Why? I have no idea as she said the only thing that was damaged  was the storm door and that had no lock. The wood door into the house was not damaged and she changed those locks.. She said why dont I get a key to the back door? Why?? How do I get a key to the back door I said? she said oh; come here and get the key and get stuff. At first I thought it was a good idea and then I thought why go and get more stuff and drag it back to where I am. That means more stuff just here carting it back and forth..

Why cant I have a key to the front door anyway?? or why cant she mail it??

I smell something very fishy and now I am so confused as to what to do?? Some people say to get the police to get back into the house and then what?? what about mom?

oh; and sis has not given me a penny for a month for my mom and she has her check and fema money. My mom is out of meds and so am I and ourmedical center is closed down.

anyone have any suggestions? ideas? anything?


Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 7:01am

Did you actually talk to her? Did you directly ask her, "Why can't I have a key to the front door?" How far away is her house from where you are, and how hard is it for you to travel there? It might be worth the trip to see what's going on and to directly speak to her. Can your neighbors supply any information?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 10:09am

well she didnt tell me why I cant have a key to the front door but here is an update.. She wrote to me today on email (she never answers her phone ever). and she said that she is meeting with Fema and electrician today and they will let her know when the power will be turned on and then me and my mom can go back.. I have no idea when that will be and how do we get in? I guess when power is back I can take  my mom with me as insurance  and sit there and wait for sis or get the police.. that is what I have to do if it gets to that. I doubt anyone wants an 89 years old woman freezing in a car but then again I dont know..

Sis never answers me or talks to me and that is how she is.. and never says why I couldnt have a key to front door. she said I could get a key to the back door and that was it.. that is nuts.. she now says if she can she will get more care for my mom at home but that is so she can keep my moms check. She uses it to pay her bills.

its about an hour away and yes I have neighbors who told me that the neighborhood has power but sis doesnt. They can keep me updated along with the fire department site I have logged on to.

So I will wait for the power before I go back because what is the purpose with the gas crisis.

what do you think?

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 10:32am

That's odd.  I agree with Florida, I definitely think that it would be worth the trip.  Not only to get a key, but also to speak to her face to face and see if you can gauge what's going on.  I can't imagine not going back to the comfort of my own home if all it takes is an inspection and a new screen door. 

*We must have been writing at the same time . . . at least she's offering you a key.  I don't see what the difference is, unless maybe she got two keys with the front door and she is giving the spare to her BF.  If it's bothering you, I would just ask, but I would do it face to face if it were me.

So glad for you, that you will soon get to move out of your son's dining room!!!  I hope you can get back in before Thanksgiving, that would be great.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 1:12pm

Its hard to explain my sis as she talks in gibberish alot and makes up stories and lies.. So why bother to ask her anything face to face because she will have an excuse for everything. She is a very controlling person and she is controlling when and who comes to her house. So I guess she wants to milk the  money she is getting and not have us there until she says its okay..

Trust me after this is over I am hoping and praying I can bring my mom back to her house and find an apt. but now with Hurricane and people being homeless there are less apartments and landlords are price goughing. I have filled out a few apt. applications but with no job its challenging..

So right now my plan is to go back to sis with mom when the power is back and then if I dont have a key by then I will call the police and see if they can get me into the house..

I mean what else can I do??

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 1:35pm

I wouldn't count on the police being able to do anything.  My sister still has all of her furniture and a bunch of other stuff in the house she lived in with her ex and she can't get back in, even though her name is on the lease.  He won't let her, and there has to be some legal document filed before she can legally take her stuff out.  I'm sure the laws are different there, but I still don't think the police will be able to help you get inside if your sister isn't there or won't allow it. 

Maybe this will be a blessing in disguise.  I'm not sure if there's a reason why you haven't been able to find a job in all this time, but it could be the motivator you need to look harder or in a different way/place than you have been. 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 3:50pm
If I'm understanding you correctly, she's offered to give you a key to the back door, right? I'm not sure why you would need to call the police. Like you, it doesn't make sense to me why you can't have one to the front but there may be a logical explanation. It would just take your asking her. On the other hand, I have a couple of family members who will tell you the sky is green and expect you to believe it so, I know what you mean . . . sometimes it isn't worth asking if you know you aren't going to get a straight answer.