i feel cursed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
i feel cursed
7
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 5:24pm

Ok, so i've only been single for about a month and a half now. But I'm just, so sick of it. I miss everything about being in a relationship and while I love my alone time and all that, I just miss sex, cuddling, hugging, having someone to go places with, first kisses, all that stuff.

Here's my situation- i live in a small town. Not any small town, my home town. I moved back here 6 months ago, staying in the relationship I was in and trying the long-distance thing. I really wanted this job I got offered here and well, so yes, here I am. Now that I'm single, I have this immense fear that I won't meet anybody here.

The one guy I had my eye on was this courier that I used to know years ago, and always had an attraction towards. He's just the nicest, friendliest guy. And well, that purolator uniform... mmm. So i realized a few weeks ago that last I knew he was single (about 3 months ago) and that since I've always thought he was attractive and he's got all these great qualities, maybe I could ask him out. The only problem is I rarely talk to him nowadays- i only see him when he drives by me and honks and waves at me (which i thought was a sign he must like me).

Anyhoooo, i found out today he's "sort of seeing someone, nothing serious" (what he told a friend of mine). So alas, I feel a bit crushed- I wish I had asked him out when I could have and just feel now that there are no other options in this town. I have no idea how to meet men and am well, just feeling really ugly and alone right now.

So I'm venting in here. Any ideas on what a gal can do to meet a guy? After being in a 4 year relationship i just feel like i don't know how to date. And well, I've never actually dated before- so i'm just at a loss at how to be "out there" and handle this meeting men thing.

And it doesn't help that when i last lived here, for about a year after my last relationship ended back when i was 19, i was single the entire year i was here. Never asked out on a date, never had anyone interested in me, nothing. So hence, i feel like i must repell men and should have hung onto the last one i had and just settled. But well, i say that out of sarcasm and depression- i'm happy i didn't settle. Though, at least he was there to hug me *sigh*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
In reply to: vgirl2423
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 9:50pm
Excluding the sex I know what you mean I was in a relationship for about two or three months a year or so ago and I miss it. The frustrating thing is I haven't had a date since then


Edited 10/7/2005 9:51 pm ET ET by lily_skywalker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
In reply to: vgirl2423
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 7:40pm
I'm right there with ya. No date in almost two years and of the people that I'm interested in dating, the attraction is not reciprocal. It sucks. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: vgirl2423
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 3:22pm

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I've been in this situation more times than I'd care to admit. So I definitely know how you feel. It sucks. I had my eye on a guy for four years and was sure he liked me until I found out he was seeing someone and I think they just met, too. It's hurtful but all I can say is dust yourself off and try again. I'm sure there will be others out there for us. At times I do feel so cursed because it seems every time I set my eye on someone, it turns out he's unavailable. (Sigh) But don't give up. ;-) I haven't. Tough times don't last too long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
In reply to: vgirl2423
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 6:57pm

Aw, thanks. I hope that's true, that the tough times don't last too long. My new approach is to be open to meeting someone when i least expect it- so less "eyeing guys" and more just being friendly and talking to new people and making good impressions.

Anyway, at least i know i'm not the only one who experiences things like that! :) Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: vgirl2423
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:32pm

What happened to having a toast to being single and not settling from your previous post?? You have to keep it in perspective. Somtimes it will be easy and not so easy on other days, but the key is to try and not let you down. Easier said then done, huh??
Try match.com. It is a great way to meet tons of people and get some dating under your belt.

Kcole

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
In reply to: vgirl2423
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 10:57pm
Haha, yeah, true about keeping things in perspective. But gar, that online dating thing doesn't work for people in small towns. I am joining the gym though, apparently quite a few guys play squash there :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
In reply to: vgirl2423
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 7:36pm
I am starting to wonder if I should try prayer and see if that works