I feel like a liar

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
I feel like a liar
9
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:48pm

I hate it when people ask me "so what exciting plans do you have for the weekend? Will you be going out anywhere?" My answer is usually "nothing" and "no" because I am single and without a significant other OR many friends, for that matter. Of course, I don't say it out loud. I always try to come up with some lie to tell people. I am embarrassed to tell people the truth. That I don't have a life. That I don't go out every Fri and Sat night, if at all!! I would love to tell them all about it but I am afraid I will sound "needy" and scare people away.

I hate my life.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:22pm

I hate that question, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:27pm

I'm at an age where I actually LIKE not having anything to do.

When I get asked this question at work, "So, got any big plans this weekend?" I proudly announce, "Nope. I'm going to do a whole lot of nothing." And most of my co-workers say something like, "Wow, that sounds nice!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 10:35pm

Don't hate your life, you're an adult. For me, like this weekend, I'm not working and I don't have huge plans (just taking my dog to my friends to play tomorrow and puppy class on Sunday) but I'm happy to tell people that I have absolutely nothing going on some weekends, that is my time to relax! Don't feel bad because you aren't out partying or anything all the time, it's overrated anyway.

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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 6:04am

ME TOO! LOL

If I have nothing planned I usually just say. No plans set in stone. I just have plans to read some good books and catch up on a few things around the house. That's what having no outside plans means to me.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 9:34am

If you want to stay in, you should and shouldn't feel ashamed to tell people that. People understand the need to recharge!


It sounds like maybe you do want to go out though and not stay in, but you don't have anyone to go out with so you don't. In that case, you should force yourself out of the house. Commit to trying one new thing a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 10:59am

What is an IM league and how do I join one? As far as finding things to do, I live in a small town and there is only one coffee shop and I have already gone to it many times. Unfortunately there isn't much to do around here except go to fire dept. carnivals (which never did excite me.) There are festivals I could go to even tho I have to drive a distance to get to them.

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 11:30am

IM means intermural: recreational sporting leagues (like softball, volleyball, bowling).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 1:19pm

Wow! This is a great thread! I've been single most of my life and have had to face many weekends a lone. I am used it to, sort of. It's so nice to know others often have "nothing" to do. I have often felt that I am the only one with little or no social plans.

However, I am learning to create my life more. I think "what would I like to do"? I've created parties and bring people together. I also join groups sometimes to chat with others. I have learned to reach out. I am still alone most of the time, though. But my learning to reach out and add interest and people in my life will only make me a better partner when the time comes for my next relationship. I really do enjoy "creating a life", reaching out, taking chances, adding fun and joy for myself and others.

I agree with the other posters about "partying". I don't really like to party, really. It's not the place where I would like to meet my next partner. I'd rather do more uplifting things like take a yoga class, or walk in nature, or go to the library, or see an art show, play, or take a trip. Most of my activities are in the day and I am happy with that. I am very happy to be at home, with my dogs, read, dream, write, do embroidery. I love my quiet evenings at home. I can't wait to share them with my next love.

Don't feel bad. It's a "white lie". There is a very good reason to do this...I know. You don't want people to pity you! That's my reason anyways. I don't want people to look at me with pity eyes or furrow their brow or anything like that. I have a few friends but I don't go out at night much. I am social occasionally, even create parties, but at night I often prefer to be at home to read. I don't want anyone to make me feel bad about this choice or my life...so depending upon the person, I may alude to something else.

It's understandable. Completely.




Edited 8/4/2007 1:33 pm ET by lv2breathe
Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 9:56pm

I appreciate all your ideas. they are great ideas. But it takes money to do a lot of them. I have a few extra dollars now but after my divorce is final, I'm sure I will have less money to work with. But hopefully I will have enough to do something besides sit home all the time. I like going places so having to stay home upsets me a lot.

I will try that meet.com. that sounds like a great idea. I will let you know how that goes.

thanks again.