I hate this day!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
I hate this day!
34
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 11:15am

So much pressure to have plans. If you do have plans, there's pressure to make them spectacular.  I've been home and in bed by 11 (to avoid knowing it's midnight, except fireworks always wake me up) for the past four years. I'm sure tonight will be the same. 

Please help keep me from being depressed today!  Who else is home alone with no one to kiss at midnight? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Tue, 01-01-2013 - 1:29pm
I'm not saying you should just dump her, but I do think you should try to find some new friends. I understand why you keep her as a friend even though much of the time she drives you crazy, I certainly have plenty of people like that in my life. I do however think it is good for all of us to have good friends who treat us much better. I'll certainly be at it again trying to make new friends this year and hopefully they all won't wind up getting married or otherwise coupled and putting out their no singles allowed signs. Exhausting, but what else would I do.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-01-2013 - 1:27pm

Me too.  lol  I got divorced 4 yrs ago & nothing since then--not even making out.  That's really pathetic.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 01-01-2013 - 11:15am
I honestly wouldn't have any life if she weren't a friend, so I can't just dump her. However, if she asks why I didn't respond to her text at midnight, I will tell her that it was because I was in bed, trying to sleep, and I didn't like being reminded of all the fun other people were having without me. I think she was at a neighbor's house that I don't know, but that doesn't excuse her from rubbing it in my face. She's that kind of person, though. Not because she's malicious, but because she really is clueless about how her actions affect other people. She's one of those people who tags herself everywhere- even at the doctor's office or Starbucks- simply because she thinks people care. I'm baffled as to why my iPad keeps autocorrecting things like message to mother! Then it won't let me go back to fix it. Grrr.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 11:43pm

shywon wrote:
The girlfriend I spend the most time with has posted twice on Facebook about grow she's having fun with friends tonight. Guess I didn't make the cut.

And people wonder why I despise Facebook and similar sites.  I'd rather my being excluded from something not be so publicly rubbed in my face.  On the upside you can focus 2013 on finding new gal pals that won't be so rude. 

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 11:18pm

I've tried replying about seventeen times from my phone and keep getting an error message. I'm trying on my iPad now, but I'm not going to write anything so I don't waste my time again!

Hmmm...will it let me edit?  The girlfriend I spend the most time with has posted twice on Facebook about grow she's having fun with friends tonight. Guess I didn't make the cut. 

This posting issue is driving me crazy. This is not the night for mother boards to go down. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 7:35pm

HthrWhtvr wrote:
My resolution is to get laid....

Wow I seriously laughed so hard my drink came out of my nose.  Thank you for a long overdue giggle.  And now that you mention it, it's been awhile for me too hehehe.  I suppose I'll have to do something about that in 2013.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 7:25pm

You hate this day?  I think we all hate this day.  Well maybe hate is a strong word, I'll go with not a fan of this day instead.  I had to work today, which wasn't the end of the world but then it turned out to not be a half day as I'd previously been told.  That meant that I wouldn't get to swing by the nursing home and volunteer for the Noon-Year Celebration.  I realize thats a corny way to spend the new year, but after things ended really badly with the last guy I was seeing and hence no more nye plans I figured I needed to force myself to get out.  I had hoped to do a small gathering with friends, but all of the new friends I worked so hard to make this year are newlyweds or newly coupled or out of town with family.  I have one guy friend that would have been up for hanging out, but he has to work the late shift. 

So I missed my volunteer opportunity and was stuck dealing with all the crazy traffic while I had to run a few errands.  Then looking at my lean bank account just made me irritated because this time of year I have extra expenses to cover and work has been sparse the last several weeks.  I'm trying to be positive and trust that things will work out if I keep doing what I'm doing, but that's not easy when things keep piling up.  *sigh*  Married people have two incomes.  I'm gonna smack them all with my loaf of bread.  

To attempt to cheer myself up I swung by my favorite Mediterranean place for a shwarma to go and was pleasantly surprised that they were actually open and not crowded.  Oh happy day.  After that I came straight home and here I will be alone for the rest of the night.  I have snacks, season 5 of Damages, a few movies, and stuff to make a screwdriver for my solo midnight toast.  It's not what I wanted to be doing tonight, but I guess it could have been worse.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 6:35pm

I am home alone with no one to kiss...again.  I have to start work at 530am tomorrow so it's probably for the best.  This night was pretty hard for a number of years as the ex's bday is tomorrow and we had blow out parties for the time we were together.  (the best was the pig roast/bonfire!)  It doesn't even bother me now except for fond memories.  My resolution is to get laid....

I hope you are doing ok.  As always, I just don't care about a lot anymore.  This is just another work nite for me. Although I do wish I would have gotten some shrimp.  I

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 5:10pm

I agree that being with someone isn't the miracle cure that you think it will be.  I was with 1st DH for 15 yrs (including dating) and w/ 2nd DH for 8 yrs--you know how many times I had a good time on NYE w/ them?  In 2000, when I first started dating 2nd DH he took me away overnight for a romantic time--after that we never did anything--we stayed home w/ our kids mostly--then even our older kids got to high school and they were going out w/ friends and we were still staying home.  W/ 1st DH when we were first married we'd usually go out to dinner early.  One time my best friend had a really fun party but there was also the time before we were married that his parents went away (the only time they ever did that that I knew them) and we had the house to ourselves (well, with his brothers & their GFs) and he fell asleep early since he used to work nights & was really tired--so I ended up watching some Marx Brothers marathon w/ his brother w/o him--that was great fun!

I am actually going out tonight for the first time since about 2000--I am going out w/ 2 friends to go to a swing dance place--no alcohol involved.  Before that we are going to make dinner.  I don't expect to meet anyone or to be kissing anyone at midnight.  Just not having to stay home is an improvement.  I do agree that expecting it to be like the best night ever puts way too much pressure and I think that doing something like Floridagirl is doing would be equally fun--just treat it like any other night that you have free and don't feel like you have to make spectacular plans.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 4:07pm

Well, I don't have anyone to kiss tonight either, but that's been true for a while now anyway, so it's not like I was expecting to have a date tonight. I am going to see Les Miserables with a friend at a cute little one-screen theater near my house. We'll probably get pizza beforehand. And if my friend couldn't have come tonight, I would have been OK being alone. I think sometimes we just put too much pressure on ourselves to fit a particular picture, and then we feel like we don't messure up when we're not living this charmed life.

I think part of the key to navigating the holidays is to start your own traditions with other people who are single. I gave up several years ago expecting my coupled friends to think of me during holidays: they just aren't going to do it. It's very free-ing to not be resentful about it. I think you have to take charge of these times and find your own happiness. And I think if you talked to a lot of coupled people, their New Years Eve isn't all that anyway. I'll bet most people don't even go out. In fact, I know many people (single and coupled) who just hate New Years Eve.

But I know it can be hard, especially if you're going thorugh a particularly vulnerable time. And yes, of course, I would love to be with the love of my life tonight. But that would be true on the other 364 days as well.