I have to vent so I can sleep

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
I have to vent so I can sleep
11
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 1:57am
I went out to sing tonight. I was feeling rather good about myself. My meeting with my boss seemed to go okay last week. I had support from my coworkers, so I don't think she could really say *I* was causing a problem. It seemed resolved.

An okay looking guy approached me and talked for awhile. I wasn't really interested, but he was nice and it seemed like he was. Then one of the guys I posted about a couple of weeks ago showed up and he was pleasant. We sang together, and when some random tall skinny blonde tried to sing MY part in his microphone, he nicely got rid of her. She tried singing in my microphone, but I shook my head no and she left. Afterward, he apologized for not realizing what she was doing earlier even though it wasn't his fault. He seems like I really decent guy. A little shy, but nice. If he asked, I'd date him. I'm not sure if he ever will, though. He was touchy-feely and showed his disappointment when I left early, but didn't ask for my number.

So as I was leaving, I shooed my guy friend away and told him I was going to tell my boss (who was there) bye. As I was telling her and some other acquaintances bye, one of them asked me where my "flexible bone" in my body was. At first, I was confused, but then it hit me. My principal had been talking about me and had told them that I didn't have a flexible bone in my body. I was furious/sad/upset all the way home. How dare she! She doesn't know what I do to accommodate kids. It's not like I report to her when I fudge the rules a bit. Of course not! She's the one who is supposed to be enforcing the rules. I'm just really pissed right now. I hope the look I gave her was enough for her to realize that I was fully aware of what had just happened.

I'm even more pissed because the plan was to use saying bye to her as a way to get my guy friend gone and then I was going to go tell the other guy that I like goodbye. But I was almost in tears so I knew that wasn't a good idea. Honestly, I really wish I had someone understanding to talk to right now. But I don't.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 2:06am

Shy, that sounds awful!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 7:31am

Your boss is an immature idiot and doesn't deserve the position she is holding.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 8:31am
Thanks, Cam. I do agree. I used to think she was a good person, but not anymore. I do wonder how much longer she'll be in this position. She is supportive of no one, so it's not just me.

Marina, I did think about that, but it's not possible. There is no stage and the only people who could have seen were those nearby. She was way in the back. Everyone heard the other woman's voice in the microphone, I'm sure. The guy was standing kind of behind me at first, so I didn't see her but heard a woman's voice and it threw me because I knew it didn't sound like me. It's just really bad "karaoke ettiquite." It wasn't at all about being flexible. The chick couldn't sing!

I'm feeling better this morning. In fact, just getting it all out last night helped. It's really kinda funny because this woman is a pushover with parents, but with her staff she's incredibly rigid. I really want to point that out to her, but she's my superior and it could get me written up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 8:59am

I am always hearing stories where teachers dont get back up from parents and their bosses.. Its so disturbing to know that kids are trying to go to school and its all about the politics..

In this day and age many people are just accepting what is because of the bad economy.. and it puts the higher ups in more control.

I feel for you in that with the job market the way it is you cant just go and find another job.. My friend went back to school for special ed at the age of 52 and she has been looking for work for three years. She cant find it and she has tried everything. She has now taken a temp job but wants to teach so bad.. She was substitute teaching and loved it and making 100 a day. she said it wasnt enough money but she was so happy.. So instead she is back in corporate world and hating it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 10:40am

That's a wierd situation where your boss is hanging out in your bar too--I guess it's a small town thing.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 11:08am
It was another teacher- one she's been friends with since high school. Someone has already gone over her head about it to the superintendent. I'm not sure that's the way to go, either. We do take surveys every year on building climate, programs, etc. and I'm sure our opinions get expressed then. The thing is, we do discuss our problems with her among close friends, but I'd never talk about it in front of a parent or anyone else I am not close to. I'd see that as the equivalent of what she did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 4:44pm
This is a very dangerous situation that could potentialy threaten your job. I don't know about school politics, but it may be good to start documenting these occurences. Its obvious that talking about an employee's performance with other employees is both unprofessional and completely unethical. Make sure to document other witnesses who are teachers.

It is so disheartening tha this all went down when you had a guy in the line, so to speak. I guess its true that the best laid plans can always fall through. Next time make sure to focus in the guy and steer clear of your coworkers when he's around.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 2:23pm
That was so unprofessional, and down right rude of your boss. How old is she? Are you absolutely sure that's how it all went down? Was she tipsy? Sometimes tipsy people will say things they normally wouldn't, not that that is a decent excuse, but it might soften the blow a bit, if I were in your shoes.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 5:17pm
She's about 50. I don't know if she was tipsy, but the person who said it definitely was. I don't really know what else the comment could have meant, and considering she told me I was "rigid" the week before for enforcing a deadline, I'm pretty sure that's what she said.

The bottom line with her is that she has no backbone with parents and doesn't understand people who do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 12:23am
shywon wrote:
She's about 50. I don't know if she was tipsy, but the person who said it definitely was. I don't really know what else the comment could have meant, and considering she told me I was "rigid" the week before for enforcing a deadline, I'm pretty sure that's what she said.

The bottom line with her is that she has no backbone with parents and doesn't understand people who do.

I was wondering why she would do this. Perhaps there is a bit of jealousy on her part that you CAN have backbon and she can't. I would take this as a compliment if I were you. The fact that you can enforce your rules and stick to your guns is important. Also, even if she has a problem with it - the next principal may see that and value you for it.

I had a coworker who kept calling me "keener" in a VERY derogatory way. I found out she was trying to become a supervisor and I couldn't help but laugh. Really? What kind of supervisor offends the star employee in front of everyone? I'm up for a big promotion at work and she's still bouncing from office to office trying to find her "chance" (that she claims is deserved but it's a big clique that she can't get in)

Also, HELLO! You *should* have said good bye to the guy you like! Most definitely! I don't care if you had tears in your eyes. You now look cold bc you just left w/o talking to him (bad, bad, bad). And if he saw those tears and didn't say anything then you KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that he's not interested. Chances are pretty good tho, that if he's a nice guy - he could have been that shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to...it's allowing yourself to be vulnerable like that that can let ppl in :)

Hugs and sorry power-tripping boss witch spoiled your good night. She shouldn't be allowed out of her cage ;-)


Dee

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