i need some damage control (advice)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
i need some damage control (advice)
7
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 12:52pm

somehow my ex (after a year we broke up) have remained good friends, and civil. Lately we have emailed each other - and they have been rather flirtatious.. So, on Saturday night when i was out.. i txt msg'd him that i wanted to see him. I didn't expect an immediate response.. but when i got no response at all (i knew he was out too).. the alcohol got the better of me and I called him. There was no answer so I sent a txt msg instead - more along the lines "that i think you're a loser".. I haven't heard from him since.. other than being a very bad boyfriend, he is a good friend.. I don't want him to think i'm crazy..

my friends think i should pretend to 'forget about it'.. what do you think i should do? I feel so humiliated! my worse fear is that he read my message and laughed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 1:05pm

what was the original reason for calling and texting him? because you wanted to see him and you were feeling things for him? So how did your feelings flip to the point of calling him a loser all within the same night!?

I'd say move past it - if he doesn't bring it up - don't! But figure out what you feel and stick to it, from here on out!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 1:52pm
Forget about it. If it didn't work before, it's not gonna work now. Now, a rule of thumb...never, never, never drunk dial a member of the opposite sex! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:16pm

If your relationship is genearlly mature in nature, I'd send him one more message that said "sorry about the other night, I don't know what I was thinking" and leave it at that.

You have no control over the situation and the only thing you can do at this point is apologize and learn from it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 3:09pm

sigh.. should I call him or leave it as a text or email message instead? (gosh, i feel like an idiot)

I still like the guy.. long story short.. we got along great and things ended rather abruptly when he was fired and didn't qualify for unemployment. I think he was too embarrassed to see me and he would never admit to it either.

But now i learn never to bring my cellphone when i'm out.. if i need to make a call, i will just use my friend's. :-)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 8:10pm

Yep! He's probably aware that it was a drunk dial and may be saving her the embarassment of acknowledging it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 12:30am
I'm not so sure the form of the message matters as much as just doing it. To me, your acknowledging it and moving on will make a better impression than the elephant that will be in the room should you ever see him again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 5:46am

Keykoo,

>sigh.. should I call him or leave it as a text
>or email message instead? (gosh, i feel like an idiot)

Don't contact him again. He didn't reply because he did NOT want to so don't start chasing him like an obsessed woman or you will ruin the "friendship".

>I think he was too embarrassed to see me and
>he would never admit to it either.

It's reckless to think this way. Perhaps his unemployment was an excuse or a catalyst to ending the relationship but it was definitely not THE reason.

You don't want to be his friend, you want to be his lover again and I think he knows it.