I promise, the craziest breakup story...
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| Thu, 06-15-2006 - 8:59am |
My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years has ended the relationship with me last night. He came to my house and said the most hurtful things that anyone can imagine. He told me that for months he's felt obligated to see me, and that he has free time on his hands to hang out, but that he just could care less and always wants me to leave him alone. Since January, he's had a problem with gastritis and can no longer drink, (bc he drank and smoked heavily for years), and he said that the reason he is sick to his stomach is because of me. He also said that whenever his friends joke about us getting married, he gets so sick that he wants to vomit. Additionally, he said that he wants to work on his issues, but not with me. Wow, can you say painful????? (NOTE: he broke up with me a few days before we were supposed to go down the shore for a week, so I had bought tons of stuff already, and I also already purchased his birthday present, which I cannot take back).
OK, let me back up a bit and explain. All of this came out of left field. My boyfriend has always been extremely affectionate in the relationship, and constantly told me how much he loved me and that his biggest fear is that I leave him. Now, the big issue in his life is that his father died of cancer 6 years ago when he was 19. Ever since then, he's left girls whenever things got serious....and he has struck again. As I look back on this relationship, I realize that I was trying to fight a battle that could have never been fought bc of his issues. Also, to make things even more painful, there has been a girl who has sabotaged the relationship....she happens to be a potential Miss America candidate who has a lot of money and a ton of connections to sports teams, which he loves.
To make things even more screwed up/better/worse!?!! (you tell me) ALL DAY TODAY AND TONIGHT I was out with his best friend, his best friend's gf, and a ton of his other friends at the bar. They treated me to dinner, drinks, and to a late-night snack at a diner WITHOUT him around and he knows this (and feels a bit betrayed). Every single person said he is making the biggest mistake ever and is a complete dumbass. His best friend and the gf told me how much they love me and will miss me and that they are always here for me. They said they had no idea this was coming, and thought he and I were perfect together. Not a single person understands why he did this........omg, this is a nightmare that I feel I will never get out of. (at least it feels this way now)...How in the world can I cope with such pain?

Oh, honey. I have been there.
First, I am so sorry this happened to you.
The best thing you can do right now is let yourself feel the pain. By feeling it, you can begin to let it go. I know how hard it is, but it truly does get better with time. Until then, do everything that makes you feel better -- time with friends, long cries, bubble baths, weekend trips, etc.
It's so great that his circle of friends is treating you well - I think that will help a lot.
Next, remember that these are HIS issues and not yours. How dare he say that you make him sick to his stomach. That just means he is experiencing fear and commitment issues (in my opinion) -- he's running. That does not mean that you are a bad person. Remember all the amazing things about yourself and all the things that he'll be missing out on.
Someday, the right person will get to be with you -- and that person will be so thankful that you didn't end up with this guy. So will you. It just takes time.
BIG HUGS. Hang in there.
~TG
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I've been there, too.
I do know that immature guys will tell you horrible things about YOU that are not true, in order to "get rid" of you. For them, it is easier to do it this way then to explain things because the nice way usually leads to more questions from the girl. I have only had one guy treat me this way and not two days later he was telling me that "we could have worked". He was psycho and I would gather your ex has some serious "issues" as well by the way he is blaming this on you and his past.
Keep your chin up. It will get easier...