I really don't like this dating thing!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
I really don't like this dating thing!
8
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 10:30pm

I've actually gotten three responses from about 10-15 emails (I didn't count so I couldn't obsess).

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 11:23pm
Well, I don't mind in-person dating, I actually kind of miss it (in my little rut I've found myself in). But you're right, online dating/IM is just boring and confusing...I've gotten myself into too much trouble/been WAY too confused because of IM.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:11am

What's your IM ID again shywon *wink*?

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:11am

>> Eventually, the conversation did pick up, and we do have a lot in common, but gosh. IM is so BORING. <<

I hate dating in the modern world. I refuse to IM (I agree, boring waste of time) and I don't have a cell so can't text message (not that I would anyway). :)

I also agree that the first stages are so awkward. You know you are a smart, confident woman and can talk about anything - but it is really hard to know where to start with someone new. I've been on three dates lately with different guys, and I was thinking about how awkward it was to just pick up a conversation with someone new - how much it feels like a job interview. Ick.

The other thing that kills me is that you can't possibly get your true personality across during a first conversation or first date. So, when a guy ghosts that early (so far, two of the guys from those three dates have ghosted), it's really frustrating. You know they are basing their disinterest on an awkward first date that doesn't reflect the whole you. Oh, I know, chemistry and attraction (or lack thereof) are also in play, but it still frustrates me.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:52pm

I don't think a first date is a good indicator of my personality either.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:52pm

n/t


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 1:15pm

>>...but I still can't let my guard down on a first date. <<

I'm the same way, but I think there's this expectation from a lot of guys that you need to be all head over heels for him on the first date or he takes it to mean you're not interested. Everything seems to be in fast-forward mode these days, and I really miss the slow progression of dating that used to happen when I was younger: meet someone, flirt for awhile, finally go out, work up slowly (but not too slowly) to the first kiss, etc. The attraction and interest had time enough to build so that, when you got to the physical stage, you both knew the spark was there.

I have never been an instant-connection kind of person, so I need to find someone who isn't expecting that.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 1:18pm

I don't tend to have an instant connection, either.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 1:40pm

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :-(

;-)
Mark