i really resent this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
i really resent this...
27
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 11:30pm

I was out to lunch with a few married friends today and as always, whenever they meet with me they ask me if I'm seeing anyone. it's like I owe them a monthly report or something. then we get into a discussion about whether or not they'd date anyone with kids and I said no. then one of them keeps telling me i'm judgemental, and that i have to just let myself fall in love with anyone, and that women aren't supposed to be so judgemental, we're supposed to be more emotional... so i asked her, well, don't you have some basic standards that you like to meet? and she replied in front of everyone, well, maybe the reason why you're still single is because you just really don't want to get married.

i don't understand why she said that. it's not like i found it insulting, it's more that i feel like she's blaming me for my being single, as if i chose this life and if i didn't want to be single i'd go out with anyone who asked me out regardless of my basic standards.

experiences like this just make me not want to hang out with my married friends anymore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 3:36pm
Ruby I don't think you should leave. I think you should just report posts that are against TOS.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:26pm
ITA with you lovinhockey.
I've read your posts Ruby and have enjoyed what you have had to say. All of us bring different ideas to certain topics and that's what makes each one of us unique. Sometimes though another's posts and opinions tend to cut though and it's happened to me and I've had to take breaks from the board for a bit because of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 7:35pm
It is not because she is married, it is because she is " Judging you" and putting her beliefs on you. Pick a different married friend with more wisdom. Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:10am
I think it's really insensitive of your friends to say things like this to you. They need to watch what they say and how they say it. Sometimes people don't think before they speak. I'm hoping you can have a chat with them and let them know that their comments are judgemental and hurtful to you. But if they aren't good enough friends of yours then it might be best to just let those friendships slide and not hang out as often or at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:24am

Ruby, I hope you won't leave.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 6:49pm
wow, I think I missed some postings, I know I did, but I hope you read my posting on the "I just got a date" column. sometimes emotions flare high and it seems lately this forum hasn't been giving out the support and feedback that I have come to know it for doing so in the past. hopefully this bad tide will pass, fast!
take care,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 2:01am

iv_nancy - what a discussion you started!


I'm glad my answers were well received... ::happy dancing in my seat::


I have quite a few friends who are married and have children - they are all very supportive of my decision to stay single. They got married because they wanted to - they found a guy who fit them and so on.


I don't date divorced guys, kids or no. Tried that once, and I ended up being the one who did all the caretaking. I'm a "mother" all on my own, I don't need kids to do it. :-)


I don't date smokers. I have asthma. They don't mix.


Call me judgemental, but they are choices that I have to live with. They work for me.

Pooh1972


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