I Really Screwed Up--Please Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
I Really Screwed Up--Please Help
3
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 9:40am

I have been friends with an amazing guy for a few months. He was initially interested in me romantically, but I was dating someone at the time, so we decieded to be just friends. I soon realized that he was the guy I had been looking for, but by that time he had decided that he wasn't ready for a real relationship because he had just gotten out of a 3-year one and that, for the time being at least, being friends was the way to go. I tried to be a good friend and, for the most part, I was--super interested and supportive of all of his endeavors, etc., but I found myself entirely too often pushing for more by casually mentioning the time when he wanted to be more, etc. He decided that things have gotten too complicated and thinks it's best for us to stop talking entirely. I know that I really screwed this up and I would much rather be in his life as a friend than as nothing at all.

I have been thinking of letting a week or so pass and then sending him a short letter apologizing and saying that I hope that, with time, we could be friends again. Is this a good approach? Losing him entirely would just be awful, and any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 2:02pm
If it were me, I would spare myself the pain and move on. Remember, if he cherishes your friendship, all he has to do is reach out. If he never does so, time will heal the wound and you'll make new friends. He will become a distant memory.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 6:06pm

I agree with Carla.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 9:09am
I wouldn't make ANY attempts at friendship until you get past ALL romantic feelings for him.