I suck at this...
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| Thu, 05-17-2007 - 12:01pm |
A breif background, I'm currently 21 and just about to graduate college.
In high school until the end of my freshman year of college I was with the same girl (3 years in total) and I think she messed me up relationship wise... I mean, she was controlling and a psycho, but I really did love her. Anyway, we broke up because she cheated on me a few times. I took a break from dating for a bit, and had to deal with commitment issues, I fell for a girl during this transition period, but never really acted on it because I just wasnt ready to be in another relationship. Anyway, fast forward to a year and a half ago, I got into a relationship with another girl for 4 months, but that ended because I was too clingy. I then found a great girl about 4 months after that ended, but after a short 2 months that ended because I was too distant.
The most recent thing that has brought on this realization is that this past weekend, I slept with the girl I fell for a few years ago. I hadnt thought about her for a while, she had studied abroad, and we had both always been in relationships when we saw eachother. She came to a party I was throwing, and seemed just really interested that night. Then I saw one of my friends going for her, and could tell she wasnt really into it, so I rescued her and we just flirted on the couch until everyone left. Then we had alot of fun ;-). The next morning I gave her a huge hug goodbye, and everything seemed fine...
This drunken hook-up didnt mean much at the time, but I brought up all of the feelings I had forgotten.
Now it appears that she's pretty much ignoring me. I do have a history of over analyzing things, and just caring too much... But I'm positive things have just gotten weird. I just wish this hadn't happened, things were fine between us until all of these feelings came back. Instead of being excited about graduation, and focusing on finding a job, I cant stop thinking about this situation...
Just for some reason I am always constantly looking for a relationship, I always feel like I need someone, and sex isnt good enough on its own.
Not really sure want anyone can say back to this, just the ramblings of a guy who needs to not care so much about crap like this, but I really needed to type this out to some strangers, so I could here it from someone else.
Edited 5/17/2007 12:03 pm ET by kerplunk237
Edited 5/17/2007 1:45 pm ET by kerplunk237

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Hi, 2 things made me read your post, your intro and your name.
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I just have to laugh at this typo b/c it is so fitting for the sentence!
So I decided at my ripe ole age to just be celebrate and not have a special man in my life.
OMG I thought I proof read too, I am so embarrassed.
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well just to update, I ran into her at graduation and she approached me, pretty much just said "so, are we cool?" and everything was alright... atleast it is on the surface. We hung out a bit, and everything was back to normal. I still really like the girl, and I would love to go for it... but I know it isnt a good idea. So, I'll just let it go for now, and see if anything is there during my friend's party in a few weeks.
Also, I understand what you're saying yankee (I'm a yanks fan myself, and I'm going to the game tonight!) about not looking. But, swearing a life of celibacy in my early 20s seems crazy :). I'm happy for you though, congrats and good luck.
Anyway, yeah I'll give up on this for now. Thanks everyone for the help. I'm glad it turned out like this, because I could have been much worse.
That's not a bad conclusion, all in all. It sounds like you have a good outlook on things, and I'm sure it will get better with time.
Good luck, and enjoy all the graduation festivities.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Sorry but yankee does not stand for the BB Yankee's, it's as in northerner in a southern state.
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Don't be embarrassed! I think it's funny b/c that's obviously what you were thinking about while you were typing that sentence, ya know?
Big ole grin here I am celebrating because I threw my celibacy out the window last night. sigh
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AJ, enjoying life with C.
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