I suck at this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
I suck at this...
19
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 12:01pm

A breif background, I'm currently 21 and just about to graduate college.

In high school until the end of my freshman year of college I was with the same girl (3 years in total) and I think she messed me up relationship wise... I mean, she was controlling and a psycho, but I really did love her. Anyway, we broke up because she cheated on me a few times. I took a break from dating for a bit, and had to deal with commitment issues, I fell for a girl during this transition period, but never really acted on it because I just wasnt ready to be in another relationship. Anyway, fast forward to a year and a half ago, I got into a relationship with another girl for 4 months, but that ended because I was too clingy. I then found a great girl about 4 months after that ended, but after a short 2 months that ended because I was too distant.

The most recent thing that has brought on this realization is that this past weekend, I slept with the girl I fell for a few years ago. I hadnt thought about her for a while, she had studied abroad, and we had both always been in relationships when we saw eachother. She came to a party I was throwing, and seemed just really interested that night. Then I saw one of my friends going for her, and could tell she wasnt really into it, so I rescued her and we just flirted on the couch until everyone left. Then we had alot of fun ;-). The next morning I gave her a huge hug goodbye, and everything seemed fine...

This drunken hook-up didnt mean much at the time, but I brought up all of the feelings I had forgotten.

Now it appears that she's pretty much ignoring me. I do have a history of over analyzing things, and just caring too much... But I'm positive things have just gotten weird. I just wish this hadn't happened, things were fine between us until all of these feelings came back. Instead of being excited about graduation, and focusing on finding a job, I cant stop thinking about this situation...

Just for some reason I am always constantly looking for a relationship, I always feel like I need someone, and sex isnt good enough on its own.

Not really sure want anyone can say back to this, just the ramblings of a guy who needs to not care so much about crap like this, but I really needed to type this out to some strangers, so I could here it from someone else.

Edited 5/17/2007 12:03 pm ET by kerplunk237




Edited 5/17/2007 1:45 pm ET by kerplunk237

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 12:58pm

Hi, 2 things made me read your post, your intro and your name.


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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:35pm

I just have to laugh at this typo b/c it is so fitting for the sentence!


So I decided at my ripe ole age to just be celebrate and not have a special man in my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 10:06am

OMG I thought I proof read too, I am so embarrassed.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:38pm

well just to update, I ran into her at graduation and she approached me, pretty much just said "so, are we cool?" and everything was alright... atleast it is on the surface. We hung out a bit, and everything was back to normal. I still really like the girl, and I would love to go for it... but I know it isnt a good idea. So, I'll just let it go for now, and see if anything is there during my friend's party in a few weeks.

Also, I understand what you're saying yankee (I'm a yanks fan myself, and I'm going to the game tonight!) about not looking. But, swearing a life of celibacy in my early 20s seems crazy :). I'm happy for you though, congrats and good luck.

Anyway, yeah I'll give up on this for now. Thanks everyone for the help. I'm glad it turned out like this, because I could have been much worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:12pm

That's not a bad conclusion, all in all. It sounds like you have a good outlook on things, and I'm sure it will get better with time.

Good luck, and enjoy all the graduation festivities.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 4:49pm

Sorry but yankee does not stand for the BB Yankee's, it's as in northerner in a southern state.


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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 8:31pm

Don't be embarrassed! I think it's funny b/c that's obviously what you were thinking about while you were typing that sentence, ya know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 10:33am

Big ole grin here I am celebrating because I threw my celibacy out the window last night. sigh



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 11:12am
LOL!! :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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