I think...
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I think...
| Mon, 02-05-2007 - 7:36am |
Ya know, I think that one of the hardest things to do in life is to discover who you really are and what you really want.
| Mon, 02-05-2007 - 7:36am |
Ya know, I think that one of the hardest things to do in life is to discover who you really are and what you really want.
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'...I wonder sometimes how many people really know what it is that they want out of life. Is it truly what they want, or is it what their parents or friends or spouses what for them?'.
Well people are vastly different. I personally knew exactly what I wanted out of life by the age of about 16 (age-related variations and changes manifested itself later) but all in all, I knew what the core was, and that never changed. I cannot be influenced in my opinions/beliefs on anything major; my family never really tried to make me 'want what I don't' - they would have failed miserably if they tried, and neither does my partner.
I agree .. to know who you are and what you want is hard. I say this from experience.
I believe most people *think* they know what they want (for happiness), e.g. money, success, spouse but when they get it then they realize they are still unhappy.
I believe it takes a life crisis to bring what is important in life sharply into focus.
Mark
I am jealous of people, like one person who posted to this thread, who have pretty much always known what they wanted out of life.
I'm going through yet another phase where I feel as if I'm starting all over again and there are more questions than answers. I thought it would be different by my mid-thirties. I was fortunate to have parents who were easy going and while they tried to guide me in the right direction they were not overbearing. Sometimes I look back and, while I do not blame them for my decisions, I wish they had been a little bit more persuasive.
On the flip side, they were resolute with the oldest of the siblings. She graduated from a prestigious christian college, lives on the posh side of town, has a very expensive new home and she seems to be having some of the same issues as I.
I guess I would like to be somewhere in the middle. I would like to travel the globe some day, but I don't have to drive a Mercedes or live in a huge house on the exclusive side of town. If I choose to adopt children, I'd like for them to have an opportunity to go to good schools but I would make them work harder than I had to when I was young. I think too much was handed to me as a child/teen.
For most of us, I think self discovery is a life-long journey. I look at my parents who are in their sixties. I believe them to be very wise, solid people, but they are so very different from who they were in their forties.
That's why I try not to point the finger at their parenting. I am now at an age where they already had three children. I can't imagine the pressure of that responsibility.
I do the same when it comes to the opinions of others.
I think that when I made the decision to make my own decisions and not continually ask for advice when I already had an opinion, that's when I truly started living my life for me.
That is so true!!!
'...I want peace, love, and happiness in my life, and a cozy home, whether it's a home I own or rent. That's really all I want'
*putting own signature under those words*. A b s o l u t e l y. What else is there to want? I especially love the 'own or rent' bit as this is my personal pet peeve - if you are 28+ and still renting (am 'still' renting at 36, oh horror of all horrors!!) you are a useless looser and have achieved nothing in life blah cr** nonsense...
I think we want different things at different times, and that it is a mistake to tell ourselves that we will always want what we want now.
What has happened in my life is that there have been things that, by the time I got them (or could get them) I no longer wanted them because circumstances had changed. And there are things that I wanted badly (and would have liked to have had) but the time passed for getting them.
I think also, we want one set of things presuming a particular set of circumstances. When those circumstances don't happen, then we find we wanted something else. For example, I wanted a particular career thinking I'd have job opportunities in a certain area that (because of demographics) didn't materialize. So I went back to school and got another degree rather than stay in that field though I could have had a job in that field--it just wasn't the job I wanted. So I pursued something else and I am quite happy with the change, even though it wasn't what I originally set out to do.
Now that I am dating again after a divorce, I find that I am not looking for the same things in a man that I looked for 30 years ago, when I was 21. Back then I wanted a man who would be a good provider so that I would not have to work except parttime when the kids were little. I wanted someone who wanted a family. I didn't want a man who wanted to party a lot because I wanted security. Now if I have to choose between a guy who doesn't want to do anything except stay home and read or watch tv or play computer games and a guy who "parties too much" I will choose the latter. I don't need a "good provider" --I don't even care if the guy makes more money than I do or not. As for children, mine are almost grown and I am not going to start over. So really, I'm fine with a lot of things in a man that would have been dealbreakers before, but at the same time, I want somethings more than I did before.
In short, what we want can change.
Elsa
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