i think i know what men want

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
i think i know what men want
50
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 8:31pm
men say they want a nice girlfriend..they say that nice women don`t want them..but you know what?they always seem to like women who are very slutty,ditzy,and or nutty..does anyone else agree with me on this?I am not the type to go to bed soon..which is why i don`t date..why bother,and is it fair to tease a guy by going out to a movie with him or dinner when there is just one thing he wants really?

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 10:02pm

I don't like to generalize, but I'm going to have to go non-PC on this one and agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 3:54pm

I would have to disagree on this (and I am a WOMAN). Of course men always want sex, it's a proven fact, but they don't always act on it. I have talked to a lot of men about this very thing and for men sex is just sex. They can have sex with the ditzy/slutty/nutty women, but these are not the women they get serious with. If a man wants a relationship he won't mind waiting to have sex with a woman. In fact, he'll respect her even more for having self-respect and not giving in too soon. As men mature they want to settle down just like women, it might just take men a little longer. So my advice is to date, have fun, and if a man stops dating you because you won't have sex when they're ready-move on, they're not worth your time anyway.

~Stacy~

cl-stacymt29

cl for: Real Life Confessions

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 5:02pm

As men mature they want to settle down just like women, it might just take men a little longer.


And this is why so many of us here that are 27/28/29 are so frustrated with men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 6:49pm

I don't know- i kind of agree and disagree. I agree that a lot of men want that "easy" woman and just want sex. But I also have a lot of male friends that, albeit they want sex, but are looking for "the one"- just like us gals.
I had a great friend who when he was 25 was so desparate to meet a woman and start the family thing- he finally got it 2 years ago.
So I think a lot of our thoughts on guys are generalizations. Which is why i kind of don't have a desire to read "he's just not that into you." because I've known many, many guys that are just too shy to make the first move and are also not looking for one night stands, so they DON'T want to go up to your apartment at the drop of a hat- they actually want to wait and be old fashioned and properly court a woman. And i'm not saying this in a naive way, but after many close conversations with exes and male friends where we abashedly talk about sex and relationships.

I like to remind myself that we're all just people- take away our sexes, ages, colours of our skin, and we're essentially the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 10:15pm

I cannot agree more with this response!!! There ARE great men out there. Yes, they love sex, they're only human! Yes, they also can sleep with the not-so-great women. But, these are not the women the take home to meet mom or who they want for long-term. Just like stacymt29 suggested, get out there and date and take it one step at a time. I am also not one to sleep around, but I find more men respect me for it! Get out there and date. There are good men out there.

Kcole

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 12:59am
I think of it this way: whether men or women people generally dont like to be with anyone who throws themselves at "them" so if you are a little distant/nutty/unavailable they usually go after you and if you have good looks, good education/career and good manners and confident they would do anything to be with you. The problem is usually they lack all these qualities so for them you could be unreachable and this makes you more desirable.
As far as sleeping around believe it or not, most men I meet want a relationship when I m looking for something more basic but I tell you I m not finding it. And once I mention to the guy I m not into serious stuff he goes running!! :~)
Maybe it is better this way
I got a job interview tomorrow so I gotta sleep early
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 12:05pm
you know something though? who wants to wait until men grow up?i am 28 and they are still asses at my age! and i don`t care to be with a 30 yr old who has been with 50 women and NOW wants to settle..eww diseases and what not to worrry about!my one guy friend was so in love with a women who was a sleaze,claimed he never even slept with her..wahtever..i know he more thna likely did,and he doesn`t appreciate or care for the nice one he is with now..my stupid ex chased after this bimbo i used to be friends with right after i dumped him..so men are all the same/...they like the bitches its a known fact!guys are attracted to me..but i don`t want to lead them on either..because i am sick of the bs from men and been hurt several times already..and its not fair or worth it to memy one friend was married to a woman and had 4 kids with her..they aer divorced now..he told me she changed alot having babies changed her and she hit him several times...ok so why did he staye and have 4 kids?of ocurse things might have changed later i dont know the whole story..but there you go..they like nutty women
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 2:05pm

It sounds like you are just plain angry, which is completely acceptible. I mean even your grammer and spelling is incorrect beacuse you were so quick to get your message out. Don't let your anger jade your perception. Not all guys are the same. I am 30 and you know what, some men never grow up and some men do. But it is a fact that it takes some men longer to mature. So you might as well accept it, rather than fight it and be alone. Also, being a thirty year old does NOT mean that automatically you're a slut or have been with millions of women!!! I think a lot of women here have given proven examples that there ARE good men out there that are in the same situation as us women. There ARE also women out there that treat men the same way and just want to sleep around. It goes both ways. Who cares anyway??? What one person does in their life is for nobody else to judge, as long as they're being honest and up-front with the other person. I hate to say this, but your closed minded attitude will only leave you single. One day you will wake up and be thirty(which is not a bad thing either by the way) and wonder why you are still single. But of course in your opinion, you might as well give up because all the men have diseases....... I really hate to sound like a "you know what", but your attitude is keeping you from meeting some really great guys who probably want the same thing you do, which is a wonderful relationship, disease free.

Good luck!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 5:14pm
my typing is bad when I type too quick I apologize..how embarassing!have to be more careful on a message board...I am actually a smart woman...no i am not angry or bitter,I just go by what I see..I see it all too much..I am sick of men who complain women want bad boys..are these guys kidding me?I certainly don`t..I will tell you what...if THAT is what me and my friends wanted ok,we would ALL be married..because we would have STAYED with the scumbag men that were SO NICE at first ..so it is hard for women..esp since we don`t sleep around..but like i have said..to me dating is pointless not if I am not into the sleeping around ordeal...because why will a man want to go out with me,when i don`t put out?me and my friends are cute and cool people..but we are not sluts..so the guys run away..we don`t take crap so we are b*tches to them..it is crazy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 7:55pm

I'll have to agree with kcole here...you sound really angry and bitter about men right now. It really sounds like you've been screwed around by men, but you can't project that behavior on to every other man out there! Not every man is looking for the ditzy girl to have a one night stand with...and if you're meeting these guys all the time, then maybe you're looking in the wrong places?

In the last few months I've met plenty of great guys that are looking for serious, loving relationships...some of them are friends of mine, some are guys that I dated, but it just didn't work out because of our differences or the physical distance between us or whatever.

Anyway, there ARE good men out there! But, if you're not willing to give them a chance, then perhaps you should pull yourself out of the dating game for a while until you can get a more optimistic attitude about it all.

Good luck :)
Alyssa

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