i think i know what men want
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i think i know what men want
| Sat, 10-15-2005 - 8:31pm |
men say they want a nice girlfriend..they say that nice women don`t want them..but you know what?they always seem to like women who are very slutty,ditzy,and or nutty..does anyone else agree with me on this?I am not the type to go to bed soon..which is why i don`t date..why bother,and is it fair to tease a guy by going out to a movie with him or dinner when there is just one thing he wants really?

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No sex after four dates is going to kill a guy? Mother nature is smarter than that. No species would survive under those kinds of stringent reproductive standards. If a man doesn't want anything to do with you because you won't have sex with him, then he was only interested in sex. Maybe that's all that you are offering them - you make it sound like that's all there is to dating. If you honestly believe that, then that is all that you have to offer so why would they stick around?
I have never had a problem continuing to date men that I have not had sex with because there are plenty of other things that they get out of dating me. Great conversation with an intelligent woman, laughs, empathy.
The fact that I do not jump into bed with every man that I date does not in any way mean that I think that there is something wrong with sex. I think that sex is a wonderful thing and a special thing and should not be shared with just anyone.
Oh, pu-leeze.
How about he's getting good conversation, good company, some laughs, maybe even a few kisses.
Not every guy is so driven by sex that he has to have it so early in the relationship.
Sheri
I certainly do not see myself as that and I do not have sex with any guy.But women cannot expect men to wait for them to be ready..wait for what?After a few dates,it is best (for me)to either stop seeing him,if I am not interested in sleeping with him..otherwise if we like each other,the heck is the big deal??How long is a woman going to keep a guy waiting,a month?I certainly hope not.The original poster of this post seems to think men are pigs if they take her out and want to have sex.They are not pigs,they are Men!She should feel somewhat flattered,....but if she insists on waiting over a month,then she is being crazy..that is what drives some men to rape.
I don`t feel I am a slut because I like sex and don`t keep a guy waiting for couple mos(they won`t wait anyway they will see other women for sure)And just because I am not a virgin at 25 years old.but the original poster seems to think so..well then keep guys waiting..when they don`t see you after almost a month of taking you to the movies,or to dinner,don`t wonder why.If a guy is going to marry someone he wants to make sure she is good enough in bed to be with until he is 80 also1
I'm sorry, I just can't believe what I'm reading. We all get your point that a woman can have sex whenever she wants. No judgment there. I happen to agree... EXCEPT when she is having sex mainly because she has this deep-rooted belief that men won't wait any longer than 4 dates before moving on! Just because a woman is attracted to a man DOES NOT mean that she is ready to sleep with him. The two are not synonomous. I shudder to think of what kind of guys you've come into contact with that have drilled it into your head that not giving it up after a few dates is wrong. How can you believe that?! I hope you can clarify this for me because I sure hope that you are not telling possibly young girls on this board that they should give it up before THEY are ready.
I am 28 and have dated my share of jerks. I have also dated some legitimately good guys... and let me tell you, even the jerks I've dated wouldn't have had the balls to make me feel like I'm in some way irresponsible or cruel for not sleeping with them on their timeline... and if one of them happened to get up the nerve, I would quickly recognize them as not good enough to waste my time.
In trying to make a point (please don't take this as bragging)I have had more than one guy wait months to even try anything on me. Why? Probably because they had RESPECT for me. Maybe because they actually enjoyed my company (talking, having dinner, etc.) and didn't want to risk disrespecting me by trying to force something before it's ready. I can't help but think that these guys are giving you this vibe because they think they've hit the jackpot...
To the initial poster who said that guys only want ditzes. etc. You just make sure that you're not one of those girls and you'll be fine. It's true that the guys don't want those types of girls long-term... and if it was so easy to meet a man who repsects you and likes you for the great person you are, then none of us would even need this message board to vent.
Ok, I can perhaps make allowances for the fact that you are only 25, but I can *assure* you that there are PLENTY of men out there who will wait more than a month to get laid!!!
Your rape comment, however, is completely ignorant.
Sheri
You just took one HUGE LEAP in claiming that witholding sex makes men rape. I just wrote a huge paper on sex offenders and rapists and my field is human behavior so I think I need to say something here.
RAPE ISNT ABOUT SEX!!!!!!!!! Its about power and control and predation. It is something ingrained in a man, in his personality, in his morality, and in his cognitive structure. No man will rape a woman because she held out on him UNLESS it is in his very inherent nature to do so and think its ok to do that. If a man is simply horny and hasn't had sex in awhile or desires a woman strongly, that is not enough for him to be driven to rape. A rapist is driven by violence, by his own inferiority, by complete disrepect, by the very unbelieveable need to demean and depersonalize females (or other victims, some are men, some are children as well). Men don't always use their penis to rape..they use other objects and other acts just to violate a female in the most destructve means possible for their own personal gain and (not sexual) pleasure.
I can not implore you enough to understand that rape is so far removed from sex. That statement alone could teach a young girl that she needs to give it up just so she won't get violated. That statement says that women are the reasons men rape and its their fault that men rape. That statement is the absolute wrong message to send to women and victims of rape.
Rubyshoes
>is it fair to tease a guy by going out to a movie with him or dinner when there is just one thing he wants really?
If all he wants is sex, then he should skip the movie and hire a hooker. It would be a lot easier for him. If a man is thinking that way, I wouldn't want to be with him either. I'd rather stay at home & read a book with my cat! I agree with you because it is NOT worth the risk of catching STDs, to be going out with these types of guys. All they want is immediate gratification. They don't want to have to wait for sex, and they don't want to wear a condom.
I can not implore you enough to understand that rape is so far removed from sex. That statement alone could teach a young girl that she needs to give it up just so she won't get violated. That statement says that women are the reasons men rape and its their fault that men rape. That statement is the absolute wrong message to send to women and victims of rape.
but a woman should NEVER go to a guy`s house alone ..esp if she barely knows him...there is good chance he will expect sex....
in my experience men will say hell with a woman if she still isn`t having sex with after a month..if he waits that long...after few dates,what is big deal?
as for men wanting b**cy and slutty women,like original poster says...well maybe they don`t want such prudes either
I really don't think I have a response that you will actually read, because I think you have completely misread everything I have written or have simply just chosen to ignore most of it anyways.
So I'm done. Carry on if any one else wants to argue.
Rubyshoes
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