I Want a Shower, Too!
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| Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:04pm |
Hi, All,
This is my first post here. I'm feeling cranky about something single-girl-ish and hoping maybe someone else can sympathize!
I got word yesterday that my last single friend here in town got engaged (the other two singles I'm close to are a) out of town or b) my ex--everyone else is married or partnered). Of course I'm delighted for her.
But now, I'm feeling crabby at the number of parties I've gone to in the past year for all my friends recognizing their cool life-changing moments...more engagement parties, bridal showers, weddings, and baby showers than you can shake a stick at. Specifically, I'm crabby that they get registries and I don't.
Please don't misunderstand me--I'm 28 and I'm doing fine by myself and I really don't need a registry for anything at all. But I guess it feels like such a rite of passage--the registry is an acknowledgement that something big and important is happening to you nad so therefore all your friends should gather to celebrate you and buy you a ton of presents. It's not that I don't want to celebrate my friends and buy them presents...I suppose I'd just like to be recognized formally sometimes, too. Tonight, it feels a little like all of my friends get to be recognized and cooed over and feted by the people in their lives, and I don't.
Does this make sense to anyone else? Anybody ever have "shower-envy"?! Please reassure me that I'm not the only one who feels left out when everyone else is getting celebrated!
Thanks,
sanctuary2006

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Hi,
I'm new on the board too. I've posted a few times but never formally introduced myself. I'm Dominique, but all my friends call me Dom. I'm also in my late 20's.
I'm in the same boat as you - I have just a few single friends left. And yes, sometimes having another bridle/baby/bachlorette thing to do is really frustrating, but here's how I get myself over my shower envy.
1 - I know my friends are happy and I know that if and when I have a shower they'll be just as happy for me, and (and don't laugh at number 2, oh, ok laugh, it's pretty dorky)
2 - Bridle showers are just a modern holdover from the antiquated bridle dowry system. Someone didn't sit down a few years ago and say "Hey, they're awesome for getting married, let's buy them the whole french porcelain set from Pottery Barn," it's just an evolved form of everyone in the village helping the newlyweds get set up in their home/farm/castle what have you. Again, a really dorky and way too historical way to think of things, but it makes me feel better.
And if that doesn't help you, just think that when you finally register you can go for the really expensive stuff. LOL - just kidding.
Dom
Hi,
I'm new to the boards too. My name is Laura and I'm 27 and single. A bunch of my friends are married and now having kids which means lots of showers. I don't like them either not because I'm not happy for my friends but it's something that you also want but can't control. I want to walk around the store with the the zapper tool and pick stuff out.
Think of it this way, at least when you buy something now it is really all about your style and taste, when you register you have to consider someone elses'. We will have our turn, I promise!
LOL, yeah, I want to use the zapper tool! Exactly!!
Laura, I think you hit the nail on the head--it's something I want but have no control over. Well, maybe not NO control, but it's not totally within my power, either.
It really, really isn't about the stuff, much as I like to joke about it (and as much as I DEFINITELY plan on getting the expensive stuff, Dom! ;) I suppose it's really about a longing to experience these important passages of life, just as my friends are. It's hard to keep celebrating my same friends over with the wedding events and the babies when I feel like I haven't gotten any of that yet. My turn, I'd like to yell, can it be my turn now?!
Next time you have an important life event (you buy a house, get a promotion, get a new pet, etc), have a "Yea, Me!" dinner party. I don't recommend registering, ;), but it's a nice way to say "Hey, my stuff's important, too, and I want to celebrate."
I feel the same way as you about showers - but single people are still living their lives and accomplishing things, even if it's not tradition to celebrate them all. Let's change tradition, darn it!
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I agree! What a great idea.
Why do single people have to eat off cruddy dishes and not have amazing bedding and fluffy matching towels? 40 seems like a great time to get those indulgences in one fell swoop. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Plus, Overstock.com and SmartBargains.com are the girl-on-a-budget's ticket to the world. Hehe.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
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