I was 10% scammed by the texting bf

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
I was 10% scammed by the texting bf
Sat, 11-02-2013 - 12:57pm

follow up story to "I've sunk to a  new low"

After reading about OLD scams and seeing him fitting the profile: they usually have jobs as engineer, widowed (w or w/o child), traveling abroad at the time, target women older than them - his age range is 40-99, attractive, long winded love emails, quickly wanting to use personal email - I decided to look into it further.

Wow, the trouble the scammer went through to forge an identify. The linkd profile with a picture says he's self-employed mining engineer with the name of his company. The company is also listed on a couple of business type web hosts with an address and a phone number locally. I called and got a voice message of a man with an Italian accent.

Just last night I found another owner of that same company, same last name but different first name. What do you make of that?

there's also a facebook page without contents for the company.

He sent me a total of 10 pics. One is already on OKcupid, full length shot. One is from  linkd, two head shots looks like taken at some kind of conference, one sitting at his home office, one rowing a kayak, one outdoors with a dog - this one is a professional photo, a pic of his living room, kitchen, and office. Very attractive man, 50 yo, tall, thin - attractive in the scholarly way - which is what I like, does look like a nerdy engineer type. Rooms modern and impecable, dog is beautiful.

I examined the pics in detail. they were of different men although I don't know how many, two, three? They did a good job picking men who look so similar it's very hard to tell apart especially consider the different settings: outdoors at dusk, outdoors professional, indoors with light, extremely hard to tell if they were different men.  One picture gave it away. This is the one of him sideway where the ear is in clear view. this ear has a very thin lobe. The rest of the pics with slightly longer hair and front view the ears don't show as much but I could tell have more lobulated lobes. 

I also heard they want you to call an out of the country number so you would get charged exorbitant amounts. He told me he as a cell phone in S. africa and to call him there. Good thing I didn't call it. with my calling plan At&T charges 3.99/mo and 53 cents per minute. Too high still but these scam phones can also rake up charges from their end, kinda like the 900 number scam a while back I guess. I read somebody got a charge of $1000 for phone calls.

Remember he called me on google phone (?) and magic Jack while he was supposed to be in TX (before going to Africa). Why didn't he use the cell phone? Well you can make the excuse that nerd types can find clever way to save money with phone calls. Suppose he has a cell phone but found it more convenient to talk on the computer b/c he was on the computer at the time. I myself prefer my landline over the cellphone while I'm at home even when the minutes are free at night.

He even put on an Italian accent. What the hell? supposedly went to college in TX from 89-94. Let see he would have been 29. Assuming he was a new comer to the US, understandably would retain an accent. But my conversations with him was always brief. I tried to ask questions about what he was doing, what he was doing at his job. Always got brief answers b/c he called me either late at night (his time) or while he was taking a break during work.

I'm 10% scammed b/c I havent' given him my address or full name, the email is a special one for OLD, not my regular email. The scammed part is I sent him 3 pics of mine. Goes to show my attitude about not sending more pics were right on.

When I have time will report him to some scam dating website and OKC too.






iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 11-02-2013 - 5:41pm

Well at least you figured it out soon.  The guy who tried to scam me had me going for weeks.  I think one thing in my defense was then when I had done OLD 10 yrs earlier (between the 2 marriages) I met a lot of guys and not one scammer--they were all just regular normal guys, so I didn't even think about that.  But looking back then I could see a bunch of red flags, which I will list in case they might help someone else.

He didn't have a pic on his profile and it was one of those "Free trial" ones that you can sometimes do on match.com where they will let you do it only for a weekend or something for free--not much of a trail then. He did want to go to personal email right away because of that.  I think now I'd tell someone no and if they complained, I'd say hey, you can't spend $25 to join for a month?

I remember he told me he was going out of the country for work and was going to be leaving on a Friday, so on that Tues before, my son would be at his dad's so I suggested meeting & the guy said no, he was too busy, etc.--A real guy would probably take the opportunity to meet, at least for a short time.  I mean, first meetings are usually only an hour or so.  So that didn't really make sense to me.

He was also foreign--he said he was Portuguese.  He definintely had an accent.  He had a very elaborate story about his childhood--of course his parents were dead & he was a widower with small children.  Later on, I read on websites that this is typical.  Of course my 2nd DH was a widower who had a young child, so that alone didn't raise alarms for me.  But I remember that he said his kids went to a boarding school cause he traveled a lot for work.  He told me the town and I did a search and the only boarding school was high school only.  Now why didn't I bring it up?  I don't know--I guess I didn't want to believe that he was a liar when he seemed so interested in me.

He did send me pics of him & his kids, but then when he was supposedly traveling in Africa, he sent more pics and they didn't really look much alike.  At that point, he must have thought "this woman was dumb."  Then it just became obvious that he was after money & I stopped talking to him.  And he actually got mad at that point because I didn't believe him--so that ruined our "relationship"--my lack of trust.  HA!  Oh yes, he also said things about his house & the type of cars he had (Range Rover, anyone?) so I guess I was supposed to assume he had money.

He was also getting way too romantic for someone I had never met.  He didn't get sexual because he probably guessed that he couldn't get away with that.  But he would start saying these romantic things and I'd say "but you don't really know me.  We have to meet in person".  I wouldn't say romantic things to him.  After that, I thought about it for a while and I figured out that normal guys don't get that romantic like they are writing a novel.  They say  regular things in their emails like What kind of movies do you like?  Do you like to travel?  etc.  So if a guy is too romantic, he's either just after someone for sex or he's a scammer.

Oh and a friend of mine got the same thing.  The guy was supposedly in the military (and my girlfriend is a Navy vet so she probably thought that was great) and coming home from Afghanistan.  The guy went to the point of having a kid talk to her on the phone.  He said he and his *dead* wife has adopted a kid from some foreign country.  Well--he never came home when he said he would.  My friend was very embarrassed by that cause he really had her going for a while.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 11-02-2013 - 8:00pm

 Good for you!  These scammers are pretty smart but make mistakes.  My friend  related a rule; if you have not met them in person it is as if they don't exist.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 11-03-2013 - 1:16am

Well at least you figured it out before you were hurt in any way!  It's a shame these people exist to hurt so many people.  I've never done OLD, but I got an email a few years ago from an Uncle of mine (who had passed away a year before) and he was in England, where his wallet had been stolen, and he had no money to pay his hotel bill........so could I send him $1500?  I almost fell off the chair laughing.  Aside from the fact that he was dead, don't these people think that I would KNOW if my uncle was in England?  I mean, if I'm close enough to him to send him money???  I passed the email on to a cousin of mine.......and she replied....OMG, I thought he would go to hell when he died........but he went to London????

I am a great fan of Dr.Phil's.....he says it like it is......and he's had a couple of different shows with women who got catfished for thousands of dollars!  And they BOTH claimed they were in love with this guy they'd never met, and never saw in person or on line!  The first one was ADAMANT even after Dr.Phil showed her a picture of the Computer Cafe in Nigeria where the calls originated from.  The second one was actually convinced, but only after she'd send him $16800.00!!!!  This one had used the pictures of an American Attorney who had no idea his picture was being used!  I cannot believe that anyone would be so stupid to send over $1000 the FIRST month they started "speaking" on line!  I could understand it maybe if it was 6 or 8 months into the situation, but the first MONTH.  This poor woman maxed out her credit cards and sold her house to get money for the guy!  I can't imagine being THAT lonely that I would fall for that kind of scam, but many intelligent women do.......Glad you got on to him right away.  By the way, Check MTV for a program called "catfish".......you won't believe the craziness that people pull on dating sites.  And you get some ideas of how to check out people AND photos.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 11-03-2013 - 10:28am

My son showed me the Catfish program which is actually pretty good.  There are the professional con men from Nigeria but a lot of these younger people end up just being very sad people themselves.  Like there will be a fat girl who can't get a date so she picks the picture of a pretty girl and pretends to be her so she can get some attention.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Mon, 11-04-2013 - 12:19am


Fantasy is better than reality isn't it.  I myself had my head in the cloud for such a long time that it caused me harm. I bypassed the rare couple of men who were kind and accomplished but failed the looks area. Only recently have I learned that I can't have everything and OK with an average looking man. Now this handsome nerd has my imagination run wild again. I know he's not real but I got to thinking again that I would want someone that looks like that who's real. My mind tells me when I fall in love, looks wouldn't matter that much (hopefully he won't be ugly - at least be tall and not grossly overweight) but for the time being, my desire for beauty is revived. It's so hard to shake what has been somehow imprinted in my brain about what my ideal partner looks like.

Well, I'm in a romantic mood lately. Is it the weather you think? Would be nice to have someone, to love and be loved.