I wish it was 1950.
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I wish it was 1950.
| Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:07am |
I was never around then, but i've heard the world was safer and the men were different. I watch those movies set in the 50's and men were actually courting women with the best of intentions. ( im sure there were still the occasional bad seeds) They wanted to get married and start families. They took women on dates, besides bars with their buddies, and kissed then goodnight without trying to get an invitation inside. I wish i was there then. Somehow...things just seemed simpler.

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Yes, well, women were also expected to be good little housewives while their husbands were out doing whatever they pleased. Heck no I don't wish it were 1950, because I definitely wouldn't have one quarter of the opportunities I have now. Things may have *seemed* simpler, but I don't buy it. I think much more was taboo, so when things like adultery happened, no one talked about it. And God forbid you got a divorce.
Like others have said in other threads, my goal in life is not to be barefoot and pregnant for as long as possible. I respect mothers and motherhood so, so much and I wouldn't discount it in my own life, but I also don't think that and marriage/love is all there is.
Just my two cents.
I would say that the rules for dating and marriage were more defined and society supported those rules. So in a sense, it was simpler. However, as the previous poster has pointed out, there is a downside. Marriage and children really were the only options for women. And just hope you were lucky and married someone who you were sexually compatible with. Since premarital sex was frowned upon in those days (although I'm sure there was plenty of it) women certainly didn't know what to expect before they married.
So, with economic and sexual freedom, there is confusion. Our culture is still changing in this regard.
But, I know what you mean...wouldn't it be nice if you could have some of that old-fashioned dating, and that you weren't pressured to have sex.
Smile,
Deirdre
Edited 8/31/2007 9:39 am ET by capegirardeau
>>When sex is basically free, there is no pressing need for marriage, or even courtship.
Oh come on, that's such a guy thing to say. I'm sorry, I've seen plenty of incredibly whipped (ie TOO much for me) guys where it has NOTHING to do with sex. And why is it always men taking the sex and women giving it "for free"?? Women have sexual appetites, too, you know, and I've heard of (more than known, I don't have friends like this) more than one girl who's used a guy for her own purposes. It's obviously not right, I'm just saying, it's a two-way street. I think it's another issue of it being "improper" for women to admit they want sex. Sure, (most) men probably want it more, but that's beside the point. :) My ex didn't believe in sex before marriage even (again, so incompatible and I didn't even see it). I did! :)
I do agree that it would be nice to have more defined "rules" of dating and courtship, though, which was probably your point in the first place. I just tend to get cranky when people talk about the good old days...A - I doubt it was THAT good and B - I think today's pretty ok, too, all things considered. EVERY generation's going to have its problems. I really, REALLY don't think we're a sex-obsessed society either...we're incredibly uptight compared to Europeans. I actually saw (I didn't watch it! :) ) "Porn: the Musical" on primetime TV in London.
>>So what you are basically saying is while men could argue "when the milk is free, why buy the cow", women could easily counter "when the sausage is free, why buy the pig".
Right, but I also think that this is the mentality of the few, not the many. To me (and to most people with substance, I would think), the reason to get married (or even to be in a relationship) isn't the sex but the love and companionship (which does exist! haha). Whenever I lose faith in men, I think about the guys I know who are head over heels for their girlfriends. I'd agree with any man, sex is important, but it's still not everything.
While she makes a point that people, not just men use each other. I don't entirely agree with the notion that these women are actually "using" these men.
I mean how many women are truly happy getting the free sausage from any guy. I think most are lying to themselves when they say they are using a man becuase most (and I say most but not all) would much rather have a really good, loving man who appreciates and cherishes them, then some quick, cheap sex with a loser. I think they tell themselves they are the user to make themselves feel better about taking what they can get instead of getting what they want. They're just trying to turn it around.
And! How many men wouldn't mind being "used" by a woman for sex? I could round up a line if anyone is interested.
Either way, in the woman-user/man-exploited relationship, I still think the man has the benefit as he'll not only get the free sex but he'll likely walk away remorse and emotion-free, while the woman will be justifying her actions to friends and inwardly feeling guilty (and easy) and not anywhere closer to what she really wants.
I don't know, but I've heard more than my fair share of men ranting that women are dishonest b*tches who don't know the meaning of loyalty. Honestly, I just think we're too hard on "men" as a general population. Yes, there are some really awful men out there, but there are also some absurdly awful women out there, we just don't have to deal with them in the same way.
Take the whole, "why do looks matter to men" thread. Looks matter to EVERYONE. I know many a woman who has dumped or not even dated (myself included in that last one) a guy for shallow reasons; a friend of mine stopped seeing a guy because he finally took his hat off and was balding (I'm not berating her in any way, she's one of my best friends). It happens.
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