If a man offers to lend me books, doe...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
If a man offers to lend me books, doe...
14
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 5:58am

If a man offers to lend me books, does he like me? Note: he's my former teacher



  • Yes!
  • No!
  • Too hard to tell.


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 9:01am
Based soley on this, I would say No. Not meaning he doesn't like you at all but maybe just not in a romantic way. Now, if he said "I have these books to lend you, let's meet for coffee/dinner/a walk in the park to discuss them" then I would say yes, it sounds like he has a more-than-friendly interest.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:16am

If a guy asks you out on a date, he's interested.


If he continues to ask you out, he likes you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:30am
how is offereing to lend you books mean he wants you?let`s be real..if he wanted you,he would say lets`s go out for drinkslet`s get together,etc..do YOU like him?I think you are reading into this too much..when men want you,they will make it very obvious..dating=sex...at least that is what men are hoping for..why would a guy be shy?if a guy is NOT going after you..he does not care....or if he is friends with you,and just that,he is JUST that..your friend...he is not attracted to you if he is your friend
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 7:49pm
The truth is that he has no way to go after me if he does like me. The only way we see each other is when I come by the school to return books and chat with him for a while. The reason I'm confused is that his body language sometimes makes me think he likes me. If he does like me, he could be too afraid to pursue me because he was my teacher only a couple of years ago. Do you see why there is room for confusion?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 7:52pm

I haven't read any of the posts - but my take:

It means he lent you some books.

Don't read into anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 10:10pm
Okay, but there are also body language issues.
He tends to blush while we talk, and he always smooths his hair and rubs his face. I read that both are preening gestures that men will make when they are attracted to a girl. He seems to smile at me in a flirtatious way. Anyways, he's informed me that I am welcome to come back ANYTIME I feel like discussing a book with him. I know this may be nothing for a teacher, but isn't discussing books KIND OF romantic?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 12:11am

No. I have had several academic conversations with professors and there has never been an inkling of romance. Its not "kind of" romantic...its a teacher student relationship not two lovers reading poetry or Shakespearian sonnets. Regardless, its unethical and quite possibly against school guidelines for him to pursue you.

Body language isnt a very good predictor of anything in my opinion. Maybe he has razor burn from his morning shave and his face itches. Maybe he's warm and thats why he is flushed. I have a socially inept professor that almost never makes eye contact and sometimes blushes when you ask him questions or talk to him one on one after class...he isn't interested in me or any of my fellow students.

Let it go...really. Student prof relationships are not usually a good thing.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 12:30pm
If a guy likes you,he will ask you out.Period.is he asking you out?has he said hey let`s go out for drinks??hey I like you?does he tell you "you look hot"why do women feel the need to go after guys?men WILL pursue you if INTERESTED.Don`t wonder if he likes you or not..WHO CARES?Didn`t you mention he is your teacher?When men come after you,then you know they like you.men want sex,and they are NOT shy.They tell women THAT to make themselves look nice..then later you see them at the bar acting stupid or all over some chick.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 12:57pm

Though I appreciate everyone's views, I have to say I don't appreciate your lack of sensitivity.

For your information I don't actually date and have never actually had a boyfriend. You all imply that ALL men go after what they want and so I should wait for them to come to me, but I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN ASKED OUT ON A DATE!!!! You're all pretty much implying that I'm a loser for never having been asked out and for not understanding how guys think.
This man is no longer my teacher and I am much younger than most of you. I don't play games, I don't plan on meeting the right guy in a bar, I will never have a one-night-stand, I want someone with whom I share a common interest, and so far this man and I do.

I want you to be honest about how you percieve the situation, I really do. But for god's sake I'm young, inexperienced, and quite frankly unlucky in love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 2:04pm

No one is implying that you are a loser.


Think of it this way, though - okay, maybe he is interested.

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