If they can find someone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
If they can find someone...
5
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 9:33pm

First, I must say this thread is to be taken lightheartedly and I don't mean to poke fun at people.

But have you ever seen or met someone with a major problem/obstacle and think how hard it must be for them to date or have a normal love life...then find out, they are either married or have someone?

I was watching Discovery Health the other night and they had a special on a 745 pound man that has been bedridden for the last 9 years. He lays in bed, draped over with by sheets because there are no clothes to fit him, he's got bed sores all over him, can't work, or do anything...and he's got a wife! A loving wife, who support and takes care of him. Yeah, she wasn't much of a looker, but he found someone.

Years ago, I saw a documentary on MTV about a girl who contracted HIV. She met a guy who is HIV negative, he fells madly in love with her and proposed.

Right now, I am watching a similar special on TLC about a quadreplegic woman who, after becoming paralyzed went on an online dating site, find a guy, he fell in love with her, marries her and their having a baby! With all that is involved in caring for her, he took it on cause he loved her that much.

My first thoughts when I see situations like that is, well I must be set then if they can find someone. Then my next thought is maybe not. Maybe the rason why they have found someone is because they had some major obstacle or setback on their life. Maybe some people are just drawn to people that need help. I can say that the most together people I know remain single, while the few ones I know that are in long-term relationships have many negatives going for them. But somebody loves them.

Again, I hope I don't offend anyone. Just feeling pouty right now as I sit here with all my ducks in a row and no one, I believe to appreciate it.

Any thoughts???

Avatar for muffy65
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 10:14pm

I often wonder the same thing myself. LOL! Here I am, a pretty together woman, and wonder why I am still single!
It is strange how some folks get together, sometimes as a result of bizzare or even tragic or life-threatening circumstances. Fate is a peculiar yet powerful force.

Relationships are WORK. It takes WORK to get into a relationship, and even MORE WORK to keep the relationship going. Truth be told: I have not been trying very hard, and so I cannot lament my situation too much. :)

muffy65

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Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:22pm
While love isnt blind, it only sees what matters.

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Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:50pm

I think your observation is a good one. Maybe those who have dealt with major life obsticles such as some of the ones you have described, are due to realizing that life is to be cherished, so they put themselves out on a limb more. Because they're used to having to do that?? Not sure what the answer is, or even if there is one...

I can relate partly because I have one friend who has consistanly let me down over the past two years since she fell in love and got married. When we were single, I would be there for her when she put herself in comprimising situations with men and needed a shoulder. Made all the WRONG decisions with men and got hurt time after time after time. I mean, most people would think that getting drunk and sleeping with a guy on the first date is not the way to get a guy to fall in love with you, right?? Then why do it over and over... But I was still there for her, after every stupid decision she made. Now, she is married and very happy. But you know what?? She needed to find her husband more then I did. She was on a fast track to really hurting herself with the drinking and innapropriate situations she put herself into. So in reality, it was better for her to find her husband and settle down at that time. She has grown up so much over the past two years, it really is unbelievable. So my point is this, maybe these people need their partner more then we do at these particular time of their lives. Maybe it is God's way of helping those who really need it at the point in their lives when they need them the most. It's just a thought and I most certianly don't think that WE don't deserve the same happiness, but maybe there is a bigger plan behind all of this??? Maybe we have more to learn by being single right now and it really just is not our time yet??

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Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:26am

deleted


Edited 8/30/2006 7:37 am ET by juliasuk
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:45am

I read a book once that basically said that you have to show your vulnerabilities for others to see you need them.