If they could only hear me

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
If they could only hear me
17
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 10:06pm

There are a lot of stupid drivers on the road.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 12:11am

I'm sure some people have heard me shouting at them when I have a window open.

My typical comments:

"Is there any particular SHADE of GREEN you're waiting for??!!!"

"It says 'STOP' not 'GIVE UP'!!!!!"

"I guess that was the model year that indicators were optional!"

"What are you waiting for, an ingraved invitation??"

Yeah, we have a lot of really terrible drivers here too. Some of them are REAL morons. A perfect example is right after the very first snow of the season. It's very Darwinian. It's like they have to learn all over again how to drive on snow. I try to take that day off from work if I can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 8:01am

Ahhh yess....road rage...I get it often...

My favorite lines...

"Yes moron Green means Go"

"Hang up and drive Dumbbutt" (but with the A word filling in for butt)

"Why not go 10 miles below the speed limit I don't have to go anywhere"

"Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?"

"Oh no why don't you go I only have the right of way"

Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 2:26pm

About eight years ago, I drove with my mom and sister to Louisiana for a wedding.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 2:30pm

I like to use the "dumbbutt" variation a lot, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 2:40pm

In my town we're filled to the gills with speed demons, I usually drive about 10 above the limit, and P.U. trucks esp. like to pass ME (in city driving) so they can all be in front of the pack when we're all soon stopped at a light. It's like bad kindergarden kids butting in front of the line all day long. Like "let's all hurry up so we can wait at the light longer"

H's co-worker had a joke about the blinker problem: it's the smog in the air that causes the blinker not to work, so the driver doesn't even know, they've signaled in the car, but they don't know it doesn't work. LOL. So H's always blurting out "oh look, another blinker that doesn't work...and another!...(and looking at me all serious) "they simply don't know!"

Out of city driving, there's always some idiot who passes everyone, get's to the front of a line of cars, then slows right down when no one can pass, and then when there's a passing lane, the idiot in front speeds up again to not allow any one to pass him again.

My favorite (speaking of speeding), 2 cars riding side by side on a 2 lane road, and there's the "agressive" driver tailgating one, then tailgates the other, then back to the first one, several times, till one of the cars moves forward enough for the "agressive" driver to barely wedge himself through. We actually have radio announcers at rush hour doing their pre-taped plea, "practice safe driving - let the aggressive drivers pass..."
A town full of bullies and kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 3:33pm

Oh my gosh that reminds me of this one time when I lived in San Diego. I was driving down the road it was 45 mph. This guy was right on my butt. I was passing the guy next to me but apparently not fast enough for him, well than I stayed in the lane just to irritate him so he passed me on the right and cut in front of me so close he almost hit me and then came immediately to a red light. I had my window down and I proceeded to laugh hysterically and yelled out my window "BOY YOU GOT REALLY FAR DIDN'T YOU" and he was so mad he kept swearing and sticking his middle finger up at me, to which I just kept laughing hysterically.

My exhusband at the time was like oh my gosh you could have been shot. Oh well. I was young and stupid, I was only 23 at the time I thought I was invincible. LOL

Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 4:33pm

I hate the tailgaters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 9:43pm
gosh, it's nice to hear everybody shares all my driving frustrations! Drivers here are so very agressive, and it becomes like this infectious disease that everybody gets. So driving becomes like this big mess of competition, stuborness, vendettas, impatience, etc. I feel like I see the ickiest side of humanity (even from myself often!) when I drive, and it's kind of depressing sometimes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 8:18am

Oh boy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 11:38am

My personal favorites:

"Oh, I guess that model doesn't come with turn signals".

And one I have actually printed up on business cards and left under wipers:

"If you eff like you park, you'll never get it in".


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