If your single are you waiting for ma...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
If your single are you waiting for ma...
26
Sun, 11-27-2005 - 2:58pm

If your single are you waiting for marriage to have sex?



  • yes.
  • no.


You will not be able to change your vote.


Please let the animals live!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 11:23am

I disagree with many of your views about men and sex. Here are my random thoughts

>sex is more important to a guy than anything else...

There are many men who would never pay for sex so one could argue that these men consider money to be more important than sex. Perhaps they would be ashamed of themselves if they paid for sex, so for these men pride is more important than sex (for the same reason, some men won’t just sleep with anyone). Some would be afraid of catching a STD so to these men their health is more important than sex. The next time you see a man in a fancy new sports car, tell him you will have sex with him if he drives his car into a brick wall. You may be surprised to learn that some men think their car is more important than sex.

I have dated many women and in every relationship I have had plenty of sex but it wasn’t enough to keep me in the relationship. For me, being in love is more important than sex. This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy sex, but if I had a choice between getting sex everyday with a woman I didn’t care about or only once/week with a woman I loved, I would take the latter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 12:34pm
Thanks for your reply. It's sounds as though you have been hurt in the past. I understand where are coming from b/c I experienced that as well. Unfortunately the problem was me. I was attracted to the wrong men and I was looking in the wrong places. I mainly went to bars to meet guys when I was younger. I agree with you that most guys you meet in a bar are just looking for sex especially in their twenties. I get to therapy while married to my ex and it helped a lot. I'm not saying you need therapy. I'm just saying what I did. There are also a lot of good books out there. What helped me the most was AL-Anon and therapy and learning to let go. I had to find a higher power (my own not a specific church). A book that I read now again and again is The Tao of Pooh. I find that when I am in a good place spiritually I am open to possibilities that I did not notice in the past. I am attracted to different men now. I have also gotten involved in lots of activities and my philosophy is to be happy myself. I used to have a chip on my shoulder (that was very obvious so I've been told). I'm much friendlier and I've been amazed by the men who just come up to me and start talking. I am more approachable than I used to be and therefore nice guys are willing to take a chance. I don't know if this will help you but I just thought I would share :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:00pm
thank you for your input..i don`t mean to trash heather HOWEVER she is being very unreasonable..many women like sex and would not wait until marriage,she CAN NOT act like we are bad..someone said something about us not being cocker spaniels or sperm deposits..sorry that is darn rude...I am neither just because i have sex after some time of dating IF i feel we have something good between us....enough with the polls and virginity is the best thing for everyboday...you can get married,have sex the first time...then wind up divorced!! what if he don`t like the sex and finds someone else with experience?what is she perfect?if she had better luck than me she would NOT do polls online and ask such questions or hell be on the boards!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 3:41pm
I think you have to do what is right for you. The same is true for Heather. She should follow her beliefs. If she wants to wait, I think she should. I did not wait nor am I planning to wait until I marry in the future. I don't respond to every post I disagree with. Try not to take some of these posts so personally. She obviously feels strongly about her opinion and being in the minority is probably defensive. My point is neither view is right or wrong simply a matter of choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 4:49pm
yes this is what I need to bring more to the fire..a man`s opinion about waiting for women to be ready for sex.....LOL.Men think and act differently..they say one thing and do another..i am not even going to go there on your post.What I feel is what i feel...If men are so willing to wait and are respectful,then we would not have these discussions,there would be no sex before marriage,blah blah blah.That is why I have been dumped alot and did have boyfriends all through high school,because i did not sleep around and the ones who DID had all the boys running.I DO NOT however,tease guys,go to their apts after a date and put msyelf in bad situations,or sworn on the bible to wait until marriage...but men still do not respect waiting a few onths..and this is all i will say to a man`s post.one more thing,yes I know guys eventually grow up..but alot of them sleep around then they want to settle at 30..If a guy has slept around,I don`t find it appealing,what he did in his past either.But those are my feelings..but yes it does matter,when there are diseases,not to mention I will feel funny knowing there were many others before me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 9:47am

Hello Everyone -


Please remember that this is a support board and that everyone should agree to disagree, respectfully. (See the Rules of Play.) Just because someone disagrees with your view on a topic does not mean that they are attacking you personally.


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