Im clueless then..

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Im clueless then..
1
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 12:35am

Im 34yr old, never dated or had a boyfriend in my life, Im still a virgin. There was this guy I was chatting online, but we only met yesterday we dont know each other in person) he saw my photo in a friendship ad and got very attracted to me. He told me I was very pretty, looked interesting. The thing is that this moron is unhappily married with a daughter and told me right without even knowing me that since he saw I was so pretty, interesting and attractive, he would really would love to have sex with me. Of course I said no. For some reason I kept chatting with him about male and female relationships in this time and he told me that since I havent had the experience of dating, boyfriend or anything I cannot say an opinion about why men are men and why they behave the way they behave. Then I told him I was a virgin and he completely changed, he apologized because he thought I already had experience with men and that is why he question why I did not want to have sex with him just for the fun if I have been with a man before but since I am a virgin he told me I was a different story.

Then he asked me how come in this day Im still a virgin and in my age where supposedly at my age women already has had experience and I havent.Dont worry I wont speak online with this guy again and viceversa he got mad at me for my way of thinking that conservative.

Now to the issue Im confused I told this guy how come guys I met online or seen my photo on friendship sites they are immediately drawn to me but in real life that does not happen with guys. I told the guy that Im a funny, special, easy going, girl and I do get a long with people and viceversa I hav been told that by people I know, friends, relatives, etc This guy told me that nowadays being a nice lady, especial, easy going with values are not worth anymore to guys, that if I want other guys to really noticed me I have to break a little bit the rules and be bold with guys in order to guys noticed me that is the only way even if some things go against to what I believe or were raised because times changed and now women are like that and now guys like that kind of women, so the guy told me that I had to change my personality a bit in order guys to really noticed me in real life.

Im confused because if people really see me as a pretty lady, single,funny, easy going, etc why they dont get interested in me. I thought those qualities were some qualities people like from other people, but nomw Im starting to belieave it is not true. I mean I know Im a shy girl when it comes to guys because I dont have the experience of dating guys so I dont really know the best way to approach a guy without act like a slut, a thing I dont like to do.

I mean Do I have to sleep around then with guys I know then in order to get noticed by guys even if I dont feel anything for them and they are just friends or acquaintances but I have to do it because that is what is on/cool nowadays? I dont think so

I mean i know sex is important but for me it is more pleasurable to hav sex with someone who respects me and we have chemistry and we like each other and we get comfortable, I wont sleep just because nowadays it is normal and what it is on and to behave like a slut is what guys like.

Im clueless..

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: chicle
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 8:24am

First, that guy was feeding you a line.