Im getting tired of being alone
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| Wed, 09-28-2005 - 6:07pm |
Im 34 yrs old never ever dated in my life and also never ever had a boyfriend. I think Im a friendly, easy going, laid back girl, people have told me and also people have told me Im a very good looking girl and they get surprise how come I don’t have a guy in my life or at least dating someone or how come I have never had a boyfriend before, if Im a nice girl. It is not that I want to get marry now, Im not thinking in marriage anytime soon, but what Im getting tired of is of not be able to date someone I can go out with, dance, movies, shopping, or even go to a mall. I envy of those couples I see on malls, movies, they hang out together, and etc is nice to have a guy that you both feel comfortable with or experience at least what it is like to have a boyfriend, that is what I want and that has never ever happened to me before and at my age, I think it is more difficult to find single guys.
I mean I don’t even have a circle of male friends to hang out with, I don’t have male friends. The guys I have met in my life are guys from workplaces, but that is it. I haven’t met guys in other places. Those guys from workplaces were just coworkers, I mean I never find any attractive guy or interesting guy that I might be interested at in any workplace I have worked before but the coworkers never pay attention to me either. I mean single guys available. At my age many guys are married, divorced or divorced with children. And the guys that tell me im a attractive interested woman are married, so no way Jose!! Few ones are single and available
I mean it seems guys are not interested enough in me to ask me out. Let me be clear, men are not interested enough to ask me out and get to know me for my inside, what they want for me is to get laid, some directly and very forward have told me that, because Im very attractive lady. The ones that have told me that are guys I met over chat rooms after 3 or 4 messages, they want us to meet but for those reasons, so even thought I have met guys online on chat rooms, they want me for other things and Im not into that mostly to a complete stranger. So if im not asked out how I can date a guy. That has never happened. I don’t want to grow old and never experience at least what it is like to have a boyfriend for the most of it.
Even if I don’t get married ever at least I want to date someone in my 34 yrs old of age that has never ever happened. So why if Im so likable, according to people I have met or known that has never ever happened. I have never made out with a guy before, ever. Im still a virgin. I mean I don’t want to find a boyfriend to sleep with him, that is not my intention and I wont sleep with anyone either, my interest here is I would like to experience what it feels to date a guy and Im already 34 yrs and never experienced that. What is wrong with me? Like I said Im not getting married anytime soon, just to experience what is like to date.
I think im rare specie. I don’t believe there are other ladies just like me in this world.

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At least all of you have dated or had a boyfriend before, someone who you hang out for some time. That is not my case, I havent really ever dated and I havent ever had a boyfriend in my life, which that means I have never been really kissed ever, which also means Im a virgin.
I think most men like very liberal girls nowadays, girls that are very bold, dont have shame of anything, those are the most sought after I believe. Also men now are only interest in the physical part of a women, just few men dont care about that. I mean, most men when they see a very attractive, pretty woman, they think first in how to convince them to get laid and sleep with them, then afterwards is when the feelings take part, if they are ever interested in really to develop a realtionship with that girl.
But also a certain age there are few single men available. Above 30´s, many men are married, have families or are divorced and have children.
Most men are animals, believe it or not that is the way they are.
Another example. If you happen to chat with someone by the internet, someone you just meet on a friends site. I thought that was a good way to meet friends, but tht has backfired at me. Most men ask you if you have a webcam, because what they want is cybersex, I say this because that has happened to me. Also I have chatted with people from my own town and once they see my photo, they say im attractive, gorgeous, let´s meet for the first time in person. I mean just they see my photo, they (some much younger than me) want to do kinky things with me. That is not a way to meet a girl!!!! they want only the physical part, they are very impulsive. And others I have chatted with or email each other, after only like 4 emails, they want to meet me in person, common we are practically strangers, but men dont care. Im not going to go out and meet in person a guy fro the first time, only after 4 email messages, that could be dangerous.
If Im supposed to be easy going, fun,nice, special, very attractive lady as some people say, why men are not interested enough in me to ask me out, arent those attributes a person looks for in order to people get interest in one?
Get to know me better and date in the long run, if we have chemistry, but how can I date someone in the future, if I dont find guys interested in me. There should be chemistry in order for me and a guy to date.
Men will always think of sex, good body, first than anything else. Few dont think in that.
One of the guys(a very young guy) I have chatted on the internet, from my own town, told me straight: "Im so pretty, delicious, he wants to do things with me. When I turned him down, he got upset and told me that I have to enjoy life, that is a normal thing to do when there is attraction,there is nothing wrong and men think like that, that Im running out of time to really enjoy being a single lady and more if Im so pretty".
So does that mean I have to have sex in order to get noticed by guys if guys are only interested in bold, impulsive ladies? Im just making an assumption.
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When a woman is goodlooking a lot of times men get intimidated in that they feel they are not good enough and will get shot down if they approach her or they automatically assume she has a boyfriend.
I can sympathize with your situation, but I am a guy, so offer a different perspective. I am 29 now, but have never really dated much, for various reasons, too. Sometimes women take the initiative and ask me out, which is a nice side affect of equal rights. If you want something, you must go for it. Some women won’t do that, but I think all women should go for what they want. There have also been cases where I couldn’t be sure if a woman was interested or not, because she wasn’t direct enough. I do NOT like dropping hints, use plain ENGLISH.
I have some things I must do before I can consider dating. I also have some soul searching to do, to figure out what I really want out of life and if it is truly attainable.
The big thing is that you must never put your complete happiness in another person, ever. People can disappoint you. Nothing wrong with having a special someone, but that can’t be your sole purpose. You need to live for yourself. I have traveled to all 50 states, parts of Canada, Mexico, etc. I have also done things that people 3 times my age will never do. Ever walk on a live volcano? I did. I saw the midnight sun, too. Drove at 2 AM with sunglasses! Enjoy what you have and be thankful. Plan a strategy to get what you want, too. It’s important to have a plan to accompany the goal. If it doesn’t work, try a new plan!
One person made a few guy bashing comments, but that is not fair. All guys are not pigs. I would not fit into that category. I used to work with a woman who told me that I seemed different from most guys. Her boyfriend was only of those one track minded types. Needless to say, that never worked out!
In my county, there are 2500 more men than women(from ages 18-64), according to the last census. Therefore, I figure that the women here really don’t need me in circulation. If a woman needs me, maybe I can do my part. We’ll see. If I am not needed, I guess I can do other things!
It's Friday night, but I am not going anywhere. At least I can get some good sleep.
The good news is that if you chat for years and years as I have done, you just might find someone normal but that takes an AWFUL lot of chatting and dating assholes.
Chicle's words:
'At least all of you have dated or had a boyfriend before, someone who you hang out for some time. That is not my case, I havent really ever dated and I havent ever had a boyfriend in my life, which that means I have never been really kissed ever, which also means Im a virgin.'
Me:
It is your own fault that you have never been kissed, or dated a man. You made your own lonely bed, lay in it.
Chicle's words:
'Most men are animals, believe it or not that is the way they are.'
Me:
You have alot of nerve judging 'MOST' men when in fact, you have never even dated one before in your life. You seem very cynical and negative, with that viewpoint, it is no wonder no men want to date you and you only attract the bad ones. You should just quit acting "holier than thou" because your a Virgin, and quit judging men, and get on with your life.
Good luck to you.
I totally understand your frustration, my last boyfriend was 3 years ago and before thenit was 10 years since I had a boyfriend. One way to meet men is get involved in things where there are MEN. You have to get one or more of your girlfriends to go out and have fun. At a club, got to the gym etc. Also my friend went to an 8 minute dating event, and had lots of fun and even met a guy. Also read books on how to meet men. Even though this a pretty controversal book, The book The Rules was a good one, both part 1 and part 2. What I liked about the books was how a woman should see herself and treat herself. Then the men that she wants will be attracted and follw suit. Have fun, don't worry!
Peace
I can only speak for myself here, but I am a guy, so I think that should work out OK. I do not think that it is accurate that almost 100% of guys online want sex and nothing more. You may be meeting the wrong guys. Men have always been known to want sex 24/7, regardless of wherever you meet them. Also, in today’s modern world, it is not always easy to carve the time out in your schedule to date much. They may not have super stable lives going, either. I have been through several layoffs in the past, as well as demanding jobs. All of this severely impacted my dating, and NOT for the better. I have actually turned down women who approached me, so I guess that is not typical manly behavior. I didn’t want to lead anyone on or use them if I was not ready for anything serious. I do care about a woman’s feelings.
People use online dating because it is convenient, puts you in touch with people who want to date, you can be emailed matches, search yourself, or someone can find you. You also know a lot about someone before you meet.
I would love to meet a great woman. I would not treat her like dirt, or use her. I would not try to get a woman in bed on the first date or anything sleazy like that. Am I not a typical guy?
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