I'm a girl!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
I'm a girl!
27
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 11:04pm

Has anyone else noticed the trend towards women taking on

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Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 2:27am

I think it's because some men--I mean a LOT of men--want someone they won't have to try to hard to please. And a woman who's into the same stuff that the man is into seems less likely to ask for something that HE doesn't like.

Maybe it also has to do with companionship. I don't know. I'm not exactly convinced that straight men want to be "friends" with their girlfriends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 8:32am
I agree. I think it's just because a lot of guys want someone who is laid back. My best friend usually has more luck with guys despite the fact her opening line usually involves her very prominent happy trail (the trail of hair that goes from the belly button all the way down). I guess it just makes her seem low maintenance. In more ways than one. lol
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 11:23am

That makes a lot of sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 1:57pm

Yeah but haven't you noticed on this board all the women who seem to want men to act like women?

Like talking about and sharing their feelings? I just read someone's post about why guys can't act like her girlfriends. Then maybe she should date WOMEN!

Seriously though, we're different - both men AND women. We need to learn to appreciate and accept the differences and not try to change the other. We (women) usually don't like to talk about cars and hunt; guys on the other hand generally don't like shopping and talking about relationships over coffee.

Avatar for cl_shywon
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 3:40pm

I agree.

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 7:56pm

Well that's fine. Be yourself! You shouldn't change yourself to fit a man's desires. Too many women doing that anyways. Men don't change themselves for us. They're perfectly comfortable with the way they are, and we should be too!

"that men don't want to be friends with their girlfriends? Did you mean they just want them for sex or???"

No. I mean guys have their guyfriends. And guys have their girlfriends. They don't want to think of their girlfriends as being like one of their friends. It's just...different? You know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 5:45pm

I think it's a fine line...I mean, I can imagine that a guy would say he wants a girl that, say, likes to watch sports. But does he really want a girl who "likes" to watch sports, or does he really just want a girl that doesn't gripe when he watches them? Does he really want a woman that can drink him under the table, or just one that doesn't gripe when he drinks?

I think that's they key...they say they want girls who like the same things they do, but I don't think they really mean it that literally.

For example, yeah, I want a guy that I can talk to and have deep conversations with, like my girlfriends...but I don't want a guy that is so emotional that he cries at Hallmark commercials, just one that isn't a stone wall when we're having a relationship talk...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 7:23pm

That makes sense.

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 10:33pm

"But does he really want a girl who "likes" to watch sports, or does he really just want a girl that doesn't gripe when he watches them? Does he really want a woman that can drink him under the table, or just one that doesn't gripe when he drinks?"

I pick the second, on both. It's all about low maintenance. They don't want a high maintenance kind of girl. I can't blame them! I like low maintenance, too. For one, I don't plan on having children. I don't want those things cramping my life (among other things >.<). There are more than enough problems...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:41am
Shy - be super careful with the hunting/fishing, etc. type of guy. I just broke off my engagement with one of these. There's a lot of extra baggage that goes along with that back-woods mentality. I am definitely more of a refined, princess (though not snobby) of a city girl and I was engaged to one of those "yum yum" MANLY types. He was big and strong and super sexy and it kind of turned me on when he acted all like "Me Tarzan..." However - please use caution when dealing with these types. Many seem to have over the top manners and will show you unbelievable love and devotion BUT many are also stuck on the ideas of mom and dad and have momma's boys tendencies. On TOP of that - do you really want someone who contemplates...scratch that...FANTASIZES about shooting innocent creatures?? Don't get me wrong, the ability to shoot guns and beat the crap out of anyone that might even think of doing you wrong is SEXY BUT it translates into a whole bunch of other crap that you don't want as a super smart independent woman. I know I am generalizing but it's hard not to when so many people think and act EXACTLY like a sterotype. The thought of coming home to a blood trail from the (gas guzzling, loud) gigantic truck all the way into my kitchen just isn't cool with me. Also, many have been raised in conservative Christian (Republican...) households with strict (even if not outwardly spoken), old-fashioned gender roles. If you want someone who has a totally separate life from you and leaves the dishes for you to clean up then by all means, go for that manly man...BUT I'd venture to say you'd rather have a PARTNER than a big child who does not value your opinion because you are just his "old lady." Whew! Sorry about that rant but you can tell I've had my fill of this type of guy. I loved him to death but just couldn't see raising our children to believe that the most important thing to consider in a presidential election was which candidate was going to let him keep his guns and which one was going to reinstate "family values" by inhibiting gay couples to get married....blah! We have more important issues to worry about and YOU have more worthy men to date!! And NO, I was never going to kill an animal under ANY circumstances to fit into his life...I'd much rather get a pedicure :)

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