I'm Way Too Picky

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2005
I'm Way Too Picky
3
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:43pm

Has anyone else come to the realization that they are dangerously picky? Does anyone else worry that they have become too set in their ways to really let someone else into their life?

I am lucky to have had three serious relationships in my life with three wonderful men. Each treated me amazingly. Many girls would have been happy with any one of them. I cared deeply for each guy but I managed to break up with each for the same simple reason that "it didn't feel exactly right." Sure I can tell myself that I'm going to wait until I'm 102 for "the one" but it's become very obvious that I'm subconsciously sabotoging my dating life by finding fault in guys that are more or less great and having impossible emotional standards for these men (it's like I'm waiting for this earth shattering chemistry you see in movies). All of a sudden more than ever it's hitting me that life is short and if I'm lucky enough to have a smart, sincere, kind man who loves me and makes me smile, I should not take him for granted. Afterall, I am far from perfect myself! I'm going to do everything I can to change my hyper-critical behavior. I fear soon I will be left with no one.


Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:48pm

I am picky, and I do wonder about that sometimes.


However, lately I wonder if any guy would "settle" for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:17pm
Coming from somebody who has a psychology/counseling background, I think the first and most important step, is to realize what you are doing. Are you comepletely sure, you just have not found "the one"? Or do you realize that you have a hypercritical stand point and nobody will be good enough? Once you have honestly confirmed this within, you might make all the same mistakes, over and over. To be honest myself, I have not found that man who is attractive to me and somebody who I can relate to and have wonderful chemistry with..... It's hard to find and quite frankly, how do you know when you have found them??? I guess it is just an internal peace within.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 12:44am

I want to share this moment with you. You may feel what I felt.
I m v. picky myself. been single for 10 months now. anywhere I m with girlfriends and a new guy comes to the group. He first hits on me and guys get so desparate around me to the point that I treat them like garbage and they dont mind it... after few weeks they realize I m not interested and then it is hard for them to show interest in the other girls and many of my GFs told me so and complained about me being single and available. One even said she wont have a chance until I m hooked up with someone...

so I was at the train station waiting for my train when I saw this girl coming from a trip. He boyfriend was waiting next to me when he saw her they both ran to each other and hug and kissed and exchanged the most beautiful tender looks I saw on a human face b4. I looked at my bags, going on a business trip for 5 days, wearing my most expensive colorful clothes and makeup and hairstyle... and wondered: am I being too cruel to myself. Why don t I allow me have a man like him come and say good bye to me b4 I leave. Am I trying to punish myself by setting the bar too high! is it some kind of revenge I m seeking? I dont know for sure but I know I did feel I m missing a lot when I saw this couple happiness for being together. And he did not have the six pack abs I m constantly dreaming of but that moment I felt I would settle for anyone who can hug just right
:~(
G.