Input about STD comment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Input about STD comment?
4
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:40am

Hi.

I have a female friend who attends 4 different 12 step programs, including SLAA (sex and love addicts anonymous) According to her, everyone is an alcoholic, and anyone who needs input about a man's behavior, or confusing behavior, is a "love addict," and needs to go to SLAA. Just as an aside, I wonder how any of the women here who get confused about a man's behavior, would like to hear that they need to go to SLAA...

We were talking some time back, within the last 2 months, and I mentioned how happy I am that I have a clean bill of health, (no STD's) and said that I wondered if I would rather stay out of a sexual relationship than contract herpes. I am not judging if anyone has it, but in the last year, I have even read (which I didn't know) that it is a disease that causes quite a bit of physical pain as well as being permanent.

So when my 12 stepper friend heard me talk about that I don't want to contract herpes, she said "Wouldn't you be willing to get herpes if the man was special enough?"

Am I that off base if my physical health and well being are more important to me than a sexual relationship? Am I supposed to knowingly put my health at risk, all because I want a relationship that badly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:37pm

Lot's of people enter into a sexual relationship when one partner has an STD. Herpes is not life threatening, it is actually pretty benign and very common. If you have ever had a cold sore then you have at least one of the Herpes virus and it hasn't killed you yet. Genital herpes viruses are a little less comon but still about 20% of people in North America will contract it at some point.

Sometimes herpes can cause more serious complications such as blindness or other problems if contracted by a new born. Also, shingles is caused by herpes viruses.

I know that I would definately think twice about entering a sexual relationship with someone that I knew had genital herpes. Still, in the big scheme of things, it is no that big a deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:57pm

If it's that important to you to not put yourself at risk for that then that is just fine. I don't think that there is a problem with that. These are your beliefs etc etc. H is not that bad really since if you know more about it and have info on it but it's understandable that you wouldn't want to put yourself at risk.

Edited 4/9/2007 2:03 pm ET by biochic2004




Edited 4/9/2007 2:04 pm ET by biochic2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 3:57pm
I personally would want to try and steer clear of getting any kind of STDs...but if I met someone and was really into him and found out he had something like herpes, I guess I'd cross that bridge when I got to it...it's kind of easy for me to say, "no way in heck!", but I'm a firm believer in "never say never."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 4:35pm
ummm... ... ... condoms?