Interesting Sat. night

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Interesting Sat. night
9
Tue, 02-05-2013 - 8:02pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 10:10am
Always interesting to get the guy's POV. I figure the best way to approach it, since we are in the same meetup group, is to try to go to an event that he is going to be at so at least I can see him again in person. My 2nd DH & I met at Parents without Partners and we used to see each other at events and he kept trying to ask me out but I wouldn't go--it took him a couple of months of pursuing me to get a date, so from that experience, I have learned that if a guy really wants to go out with you, he'll find a way to get you to go. I have a friend in my dance school & I know she's married but I'm sure none of the guys know. It's a complicated situation--she was living in Europe and married a guy there, then he wanted to go to the US & live w/ her--she arranged everything, got her old condo back, he came over & I guess he didn't like it, even though he didn't stay long, so he went back. By that time, she had gotten a job here and done all this stuff because he said he was moving and she didn't really like the place they lived--mainly because of his annoying family. So now it's up in the air--she would really like him to come back but I suppose if he doesn't, they'll end up divorced, but it hasn't been that long. If you look at her FB page, she lists herself as married and you can even see her wedding pictures--sometimes she even wears her engagement ring, but generally she doesn't talk about her DH. So I wonder what she'd do if a guy asked her out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 9:56am
Outstanding, Music, with making the first contact! Remember, guy's brains are not wired to speak in deep code - "when is the next dance lesson" is probably his way of complimenting you by saying "you danced really good."
 
"When is the next dance so you can give me more lessons?' or something in asking about your future dance plans is a lot more geared to dancing with you again.
 
It has also been a source of frustration for me in meeting women who will not say they are with someone but I find out later they are.
 
For example - a while ago, I met with a woman for work related things. She was very pretty, we clicked and chatted a good amount of time. She mentioned someone we both knew. never once did she mention a boyfriend. So I asked the mutual person who said, oh yeah, not only is she with someone, she's engaged. Really? So the next time the woman came in, I decided to see how long it would take for her to mention the boyfriend. We talked and laughed and I geared the conversation towards social things she was doing, never once did she mention the boyfriend.
 
So sometimes, unless you really like detective work in getting the suspect to fess up and if you want to prevent potential major disappointment, slight directness helps.
 
If a chat continues, something like this could clear up the mystery fast - while talking with my friend last night, I mentioned about some of the people I met at the dance and she mentioned how much you enjoy dancing and was surprised your girlfriend didn't come. Does she not like dancing?
 
If she's still around, at least he will know you are aware of her. Vague, short answers with a quick topic switch by him - yeah, not good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 8:24am

so you think he thinks you are a dance instructor??
It sounds like he was making up an excuse to go dancing again and hoping you were there to dance with...

I would pursue this but I know how shy you are and how you dont like to approach men right????
you Know what I am learning about my newfound EFT and energy work is that the more I do it and the more I put out the intention and manifestation out into the Universe that it works and thi ngs come back to me in a positive way..

So far I have gotten a few responses online dating but no one who lives close enough.. I have also met a guy who;s mom is in the rehab where  my mom is.. He has a single 56 year old brother in law and so I gave him my email and p hone number and told him if his brother in law is looking to date someone let me know.. He even took a picture of me and gave it to his brother in law.. So we shall see and I took a chance but if I never meet the guy who cares and if I do okay then also..Maybe if not him then they have other family members and friends.. I just took a leap and gave him the info and see what happens..

I also have  more friends who are looking for me to go out who I knew from the neighborhood and that hasnt happened before..

So my suggestion would be to pursue this and you will find out soon enough if he has a gfriend or not.. You have nothing to lose...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 10:56pm

I did wonder myself but "when is the next lesson?" doesn't really sound like "when will you give me another dance lesson?" and then if I was wrong I'd be so embarrassed, esp. since I don't know if he has a GF.  Well, wonder if I'll hear from him again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 10:53pm

I also wondered if that was what he meant (thought about it too late of course) but it threw me after his exGF mentioned that he might have a GF & then I didn't want to be presumptuous & humiliate myself.  Well I wonder if I'll hear from him again?

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 9:58pm

That sounds like fun!  I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.  It kind of sounded to me like he fancied you a good dancer, and wondered when HIS next lesson would be . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 10:13am

Well I got up the nerve to email him last night--it wasn't to ask him out but to send him a funny message about something we were talking about.  I was worried about which would be worse--him not responding or replying that he had a GF and giving me the brushoff.  He actually did respond and I'm confused cause at the end he said "when is the next dance lesson?" so I don't know if he meant when was I taking a lesson or when was my school having another dance or what, so basically I said I don't know what you are asking, but answered both questions.  so that was at 11:00 last night & I haven't heard back yet.  But at least he did answer.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 02-05-2013 - 9:42pm
If anything, you got some one on one time with a nice guy! I don't like to get my hopes up either, but you never know. He may be newly single and looking to meet someone new.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-05-2013 - 8:10pm

OK, I haven't been able to start a discussion for 3 days now, so that's why the above post is empty.

So my dance school had a dance Sat. night w/ a great live band.  I decided to invite people from my single parents meetup group.  At first about 8 other people were supposed to come, then everybody started backing out for different reasons.  So the day of, only 3 people were coming and by then I felt like why did I bother to do this?  I could just hang out w/ my friends.  Now I have to host and make sure people I don't know are having a good time.

Well it turned out that only one person came--and it was a guy around my age, cute and he liked to dance.  I introduced him to some people but he spent most of the time dancing w/ me.  So I lucked out there even if I never see him again, although I'm sure at some point I'll see him at some other meetup event.  Funny thing, I was talking to him about how I didn't know that many people in the group and naming some of the people I knew so I mentioned the woman who started the group and he said he used to date her.  So I emailed her about something else and she asked me how the dance went and who was there.  I said "no one came except A, your ex."  She agreed that he likes to dance & then said "I wonder if he broke up w/ his GF."  That had me a little bummed out but he surely didn't mention either a GF or ex GF so who knows?  Now in order to host an event you have to give out your cell phone to the people who come so when he was leaving, I just said "maybe I'll see you at another event" and he said "I have your number."  I don't know what that means, if anything--I wasn't expecting him to ask me out or anything like that, and he did hug me.  Oh and then meetup.com always sends everyone an email the next day asking you to rate the event and he said "great" and then you can click this thing that sends the people you met a message that says "nice to meet you" or some such nonsense--I usually just ignore those things.  But if my friend (his ex) hadn't mentioned the GF, I might have thought there was some interest there.  So I guess now I'll just have to wait and see.  It was fun anyway.