Internet Dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Internet Dating
8
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 11:54am
Has anyone had any experience with match.com or any of these other websites? My friend is having success with jdate.com but I just can't bring myself to post my picture and profile on the internet. At the same time, I am single and looking to meet people/date. Any thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 12:45pm
I've met 40 people in person from match, matchmaker and jdate. Out of the 40 I would say I was interested in seeing less than half again, and I saw in total, 10 for a second time, about 6 or 7 more than two times, and three more than 6 times (two of them I dated for about two months each). I should add that I am 36, am looking to get married and have a family and much of the time my rejection of the guy stemmed from dissmilar values, levels of sophistication, character, intelligence, sense of humor - sometimes the looks were an issue too but that was not the overriding issue. I have a very thick skin, do not get nervous about meeting new people or dating and am a "very good dater" - so that all helps me be more comfortable with the process - and it is not only a process, but often feels like a job - all of this is worth it if I meet the man I marry and have a family with. I would never do it if I just wanted to meet some new people and casually date - too much effort, IMHO for that kind of thing.
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 2:10pm
I've used matchmaker.com and Yahoo personals. I've gotten lots of responses, but have found very few men who meet the criteria I am looking for. I wouldn't recommend matchmaker.com for the simple fact that people can look to see if you've deleted messages they sent you. I got some very nasty e-mails from people offended by the fact that I had deleted their messages without answering them. However, in a few instances I tried answering saying, thanks, but no thanks, and found that that just encouraged them to keep contacting me. I had a 1 week free trial of the service and had about 70 responses during that time, so people are using it. Yahoo personals has also been a bit of a disappointment. I actually paid to join and e-mailed about 25 guys that seemed interesting. One answered pointing out the fact that he's a smoker and I said in my profile that I don't want a smoker. He was very rude about it. Another answered trying to talk me into an intimate encounter instead of dating. Only one other guy answered and he seemed great. Still waiting to see if I'll have a second date with him. I also got a lot of responses. I hate to say this because it sounds like I have a hell of an ego, but most of them just weren't good enough. I think there are some quality men on the sites, but there are many more that are just not what most women would be looking for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 2:49pm
I emailed a couple of guys on match.com and got responses immediately asking for a picture and profile. I haven't posted my picture or profile because I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. What's the etiquette? When I email a guy for the first time do I automatically forward a profile and picture? I'm new to all of this - how does it work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 2:53pm
I think if the man has a picture up it is only fair to send a picture if he so requests.
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 3:06pm
I agree. If one person has a picture in their profile, the other should be willing to send one too. I have no problem posting my profile with a picture. I feel like that way, if someone doesn't like my appearance from the start, I'll never know about it and won't get offended. It'd be a bit of a blow to the ego to send a picture on request only to have that be the reason the guy doesn't want to respond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 3:16pm
I agree with schnapps and deena. If he has a picture up, its only fair. Tho, if a guy emails me asking "do you a pic"..."send me a pic"...without other information, I'll ignore it. I've learned to take that as a red flag. Its really different and scary...but if you get a little practise and stick to the safety rules: don't give out personal information, meet at a public place, never get into the car with men right away, etc. Then its no worse/better than meeting men in other avenues...

Good luck and try to have fun with it, Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 5:51pm
i agree if they have a pic up or send you one its only fair that you send them one too. i've used yahoo never really met anyone from there, it seems guys about 10 yrs older seemed to be the ones to reply so i haven't had any luck yet aol's personals are cool to
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
In reply to: bliss6655
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 12:00am
If you go into it with the right attitude and have realistic expectations, then it can be a good way of meeting people. At the least, it can help boost your confidence because even if you go on dates and nothing materializes, you are still getting out there, meeting people, and going on dates. Personally, I would post both a profile & a photo, and I would concentrate on only answering ads that have the same. Not knowing what the other person looks like can create false hopes/expectations. At the same time, don't pass up an interesting ad just because there is no photo. You never know who you may meet...in my case, my current boyfriend. We have been dating seriously for 9 months, are very happy and the outlook is very good. I'm so glad I tried online personals as a way of meeting people & that I kept up with it, despite the bad dates/rejections I encountered. For me, the outcome ended up being very good!

Good luck!