Introduction and question

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Introduction and question
11
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 2:14pm
Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm single by choice at the moment because I wanted to "fix" what ailed me first (!) before venturing out into the dating scene. :) I think I'm ready now, but I am afraid at the same time! But, you have to start somewhere right?

My question is, have you ever really asked yourself what kind of mate you needed? I've only done this recently after a lot of introspection and figuring myself out. I realized that I need someone who is an extrovert because I am a bit shy. I am introverted, but can quite an extrovert when I need to be. I want someone who doesn't have a problem leading the way socially at times because I need time to get comfortable before I come out of my shell! I don't mean that have to be responsible for the social calendar at all times - I do have my own interests too. I'm great with family relationships though. I have that down pat and excell in that area. Family means everything to me. :)

Have you ever thought about what type of person would be a good match for you in this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 12:17pm
Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 12:10pm

Welcome to the board, Red!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 12:21pm
I'm all over the place. I've dated artistic-bad-boy-loner-types, gregarious-life-of-the-party-types, and uber smart introverts. As far as physical attraction, I typically go for guys from a different ethnic background. I'm red haired, porcelain skinned, and was born/raised down south. I'm not attracted to my counterparts at all. I think I've only dated one guy who'd fall into that "good-ole-boy" category....not for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 1:19am
Thank you for the welcome shywon. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 1:16am
That makes sense. I guess what I meant is more of a ying to my yang. I don't really mean qualities I desire but don't have. I understand what you are saying though.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 10:44pm
I think we all think about what we need in a man to some extent. A few years ago, I realized that the men I've felt the strongest for were all very intelligent, so I know that's something I need to keep a relationship going. I also know that I need someone who is willing to get out and be social. I have three friends who are all married to men who are homebodies and they like to go out. Only one of them will actually leave the house without their husband! How boring is that? I also know I'd need someone who is supportive of me. I can't stand it when people are always combative and negative toward my ideas.

Welcome to the board...I hope you stick around!
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 10:39pm
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 10:26pm
I use to have this checklist for a potential partner which made of qualities that were a complement of me, e.g. extrovert to my introvert, etc. I now have a partner which is a lot like me. I find our compatibility is really good because of that. I realize that I was looking for qualities that I did not have but wanted, e.g. more in touch with my senses, artistic/creative, outgoing, etc. but I just needed to develop that myself rather than looking outside of myself.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 2:36pm
Thanks! I look forward to participating. :)

I have to admit, thinking about it these terms is new to me. I concur, I want someone who enhances my life and we can both help each other grow and evolve into better people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 2:26pm

Welcome to the board!

Yes, of course I've thought about it, basing my preferences on who I really am at my core and what would enhance my life and help me to grow into a better person.

We're active and friendly here - glad you've chosen to join us.

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