Irrationally sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Irrationally sad
11
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 2:12am

My Grand Experiment at a real "FWB" relationship culminated in about seven occasions so far with the man I call "Mr Hot n Cold". Unfortunately, I have begun to really like him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 10:03am

I think that's the truth--that we all want love in our lives.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 10:06am

Oh, Marina.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 11:33am

Marina, your sadness is not irrational at all !

I understand it so much, that's how I feel sometimes too and then start crying. Me, who says that I'm happy being single. In reality, I feel jealous of women who have a man who loves them.

On the other hand, what is this guy thinking sending you a love poem meant for another woman ? He's so obviously using you, it's not even funny. Hopefully, realising that he's a jerk can help you get over it.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 4:54pm

A boundary that unsaid, unknown was breached.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 5:08pm

Thanks everyone. Having slept on this interchange with him, I realized it's not just an unconscious "Hey, do you like what I wrote"sort of thing. If he's a poet, he could have sent any kind of sample for my review.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 5:28pm
I kind of thought it sounded consciously mean, but not knowing him I assumed he was just being insensitive. If he's been mean before, though, he'll be mean again. And we all know mean people suck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 9:32pm

Yeah, it's one thing to tell someone you only want a casual FWB relationship but that usually doesn't mean telling that person that you're interested in other people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 9:42pm

Yeah, yeah.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 12:14am

I think it is incredibly difficult to have an emotionally arms' length sexual relationship. I know for men it is a hell of a lot easier to separate sex from emotions than for women.

I am sorry about your sadness. I think it makes sense for having this pseudo relationship triggering your aloneness.

It IS hard not to grab onto someone who is willing to give at least some of themselves while we are wandering in relationship wilderness. However the problem is that they are only willing to give that part that is only enough to keep having sex with you.

I wish you comfort for this transition.

Hugs,
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 8:16pm
How frustrating, I second the notion that his sending this to you was insenstive. Where do some guys get off doing this sort of thing. You are right to call it quits, don't email him, it will only make it more difficult and exasperate the situation, you know you deserve better.

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