is it important to know ... ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
is it important to know ... ?
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 4:28am
Is it important to know a persons sexual history if you are considering sleeping with them?

Is it only important when seeing someone seriously? Or is it equally as important even if they are just there for sex?

If so, how do you question someone without offending or upsetting them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 8:27am
It's only important if you want to evaluate your risk of a sexually transmitted disease. I say that somewhat sarcastically as I think it is essential to know (1) when they last had sex; (2) whether it was protected or unprotected; (3) when the last time was that they have been tested for an STD; (4) whether they have and STD. I also typically want to know how many women the man has been with and whether any of them ever got pregnant and how he handled that (that question is more of a values question than a history question)
Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 7:56pm
I think it is EXTREMELY important to know someones sexual history because of the STD factor. I would be outright direct about it. In no particular order 1) Does he have any STD's (herpes) 2)When was the last time he/she slept with someone 3) Did he/sh have protected or unprotected sex 4) When was the last time he/she got tested for STDS (medical examination)

I think this is more than not offending someone, it is important for yourself. There are some terrible diseases out there and the last thing "because" of politeness you put yourself at a risk without being put aware of.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 7:58pm
They are all good questions to ask, but wouldn't it be difficult to ask someone you were going to just sleep with either once or casually?

And who's to say that they tell you the truth.

In a solid relationship, i believe it would be easier to ask someone these kind of questions and know more or less if they are being truthful or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 8:33pm
Whether the sex is casual or not, those questions need to be asked. You don't want to end up with something penecillin (sp?) can't cure just because you were afraid of "offending" someone. If you know the person well enough to swap spit, then you know them well enough to ask about STDs, etc.

Then go ahead and make that visit to the CVS and take care of YOU! (as msmaestra likes to say)

Just my 5-cents worth. I know the icon says 2-cents, but there's inflation! :-)

summer 2010 sig by Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 10:31pm
That is one reason (of many) why I would never sleep with someone casually and never have. To me if I am going to allow someone inside my body, I'd better know all about their sexual diseases, history, etc. - if the casual sex take priority over your life that speaks volumes about your lack of compassion - for yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 2:16am
Yes that is true 'deena33'. I have never slept with someone casually before and am still not sure if it is really something i'd ever do. Its just something i have thought about lately. Maybe i'd sleep with someone once and then not want to do it again having fear of emotional growth towards them if i saw them more often.

But at this stage, i admit i don't know if i am considering the idea of casual sex just for a bit of fun and experimentation, or for my own lack of self confidence. Perhaps its a bit of both. I am still trying to figure that out at the moment.

I do agree with you however, that before allowing someone inside of my body i'd want to know there sexual history. Perhaps that would turn me off them if they had been around way too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 12:03am
the only aspect of it is being/getting tested.

asking if they have, or have had any std's.

other than that, i think it's a personal thing.

whether you can handle the numbers being high, or don't care and vice versa.

this actually came up at a get together i was at this weekend. the guys

said they would lie about their numbers.

and if someone is offended or upset by you asking this question, i wouldn't

sleep with them. there's nothing wrong with asking AT ALL.