Is it okay to steal another woman's husband???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Is it okay to steal another woman's husband???
20
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 3:26pm

Hi,

So here I go.........I know the subject line sounds really bad.

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003

Mel,

I wonder what is the point and the intent of meeting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

Are you kidding me? Dont go for coffee or milk or anything/????


No it is not

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

Technically, this is in very bad taste on your part because 1) if you can steal him from her, someone else will for certain eventually steal him from you 2) it shows you both lack self-restraint and wisdom. (Sorry, but it's true)

That said, this doesn't seem to be the case but there are MANY women I've known who set their man out on the curb by the trash like he's a slightly wobbly chair they no longer want in the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002

Hey,

I agree it's not okay to steal someone else's husband.......I guess my subject line was misleading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
In my experience married men don't extend innocent coffee invitations to other women regardless of whether they knew that woman before or just met her. Happily married men extend extend invitations for other women to join them and their wife however. This guy didn't do that. I think he has an ulterior motive and if you take him up on his invitation you'll end up being relationship roadkill. What is the point of that?

Ok lets assume he's unhappily married and does still have a thing for you. So you then become the side girl waiting for him to break up his marriage and hurt his 2 children? Then you 2 are free to live happily ever after, but won't you always wonder when he'll be leaving you for yet another woman from his past?

Here's another one. Let's assume that in his culture marriage is a little more flexible and it is common for one or both parties to have someone on the side. Suppose he told his wife all about you, that he still has feelings for you, and she says to go ahead and see you. Ok so you get him. But do you really? Nope cause he's never leaving his wife. How many years would you waste hoping and waiting? Too many.

There are so many other possibilities and someone will get hurt. Leave that man alone! Tell him it was nice catching up, but you're not interested in rekindling your friendship. Wish him well and cut him off.

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003

There is a reason why we have a moral code.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
oh; Mel. I know and I am so sorry for the way you feel?? I know what you mean about the high ground..but keep taking the high road. Dont worry about his wife or her facebook status.. What Marina posted is so true.. and nice guys dont ask single women out for coffee. My friend hooked up with guy almost three years ago who is only separated. He still lives with his wife and in the basement of their house. He wont get a divorce and my friend has wasted three years of her life with him.. that she cant get back.. She tries to break off with him but she is never able to do it.. There have been so many problems in the three years I cant even tell you? I can promise you that if you hook up with a sep. or married men the outcome is a ton of pain.. A ton of heartache.. Read the statistics. If this guy wanted to sep and divorce . it would take a year before he was ready for a healthy stable relationship. Please Mel dont go there.. With a Hug
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Maybe you could just email him or call and ask if his wife could join you because you'd "just love to meet her." At least then you're sending the message that you don't want to mess around with an unavailable man. And if he is separated, it's an opening for him to tell you.

I completely understand how tiresome being the good girl can be. More than anyone here will ever know!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
I think what everyone is concerned about besides potentially breaking up a family, is that you would get get hurt and waste your time with him when you could be available for a real relatinship with a truly available man.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002

Hey,

I re-read all of your responses this morning and you guys are absolutely right.

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