It's All About Sex
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It's All About Sex
| Sun, 11-26-2006 - 2:11pm |
I think that I know why I have confidence problems with woman. I want to have sex and my body tells me so, but due to the influence of the conservative culture in which I grew up, I have unknowingly suppressed my urges with ideas like, "sex should come with love," "casual sex is dehumanizing" and so on. For I have disapproved of how I want to interact with women, it is not suprisng that I lack confidence.
Do I make any sense and did any one go through the same experience? What can I do to "heal" myself?

I grew up in a very conservative household myself. I don't really have any advice for you other than maybe purchase some self help books on the subject. Do you want to have casual sex? Maybe you don't. Perhaps for you, the act SHOULD be equated with love. That's okay. If that's how you feel, why strive to be any different?
Also, what does this issue have to do with confidence?
I don't understand what you're asking. I think sex should be equated with love but I don't see how that has anything to do with your confidence or how you approach women.
Not following the issue.
I don't think that you should try to repress or reprimand yourself for thinking about sex. It's natural and a part of attraction.
I am another person who cannot have casual sex, no matter how much I actually want to. I'm just much more comfortable and open having sex in the confines of a somewhat serious or progressing relationship. Personally I wouldn't be too worried about it...you can think about it all you want and still only actually have it when in a relationship or in love.
I think that the way we are brought up does shape our views of sex. If you (general you not you specifically) were raised with a viewpoint of sex is only in the confines of a marriage relationship or that sex is only for procreation and that those who have sex outside of the confines of a marriage relationship are somehow dirty, wrong or evil personifide than I can see why some would feel guilty and lack confidence when dealing with the opposite sex and the natural urges you feel when seeing someone you are sexually attracted too.
Have you considered going to some short term counseling to deal with it?
Edited 11/27/2006 1:24 pm ET by lovinhockey17
Smile,
Deirdre