Did you also see the dating advice slide show?
Bascially, I agree. I think attraction happens pretty quickly, so if you're not feeling something fairly soon, I'll wager it won't happen. My guideline is this: if I go out with a guy and I know I don't want to see him again, I won't go out a second time. If, however, I liked him and looked forward to talking with him again, even if there were no fireworks, I'd go out again to see if anything developed. If after a third date nothing is happening physically for me (or for him), I consider us friends.
I do think there are exceptions to this though. I read a post on these boards several years ago by a woman who became friends with a guy. It sounded like a really beautiful friendship, and they went on this way for like a year and a half. I'm not sure why her feelings changed after that time, but they did, and they became a very happy couple.
And I've read many stories of married couples that hated each other when they first met. But again, I think these stories are the exceptions.
The iVillage advice sounds like the old saw, "You don't give a guy a chance" and "It's more important that he likes you than you like him."
For those who didn't see the article, I just wanted to chime in with the link.
I think there are degrees.
As you can guess, I am rarely nervous* and never shy, so under-performing a first date says to me that a man isn't my social equal and won't be able to handle the very high velocity life I live, which requires meeting and interacting with many powerful prominent or renowned people on a daily basis.
I'm just ready to give up on dating local men-mainly because no one is interested. Or if they are, they sure aren't saying anything.. Online i just have no idea anymore, i'm reall tired of oversexed boring older men pestering me after I say no, I'm not interested.I don't like bad boys, but they like me for some odd reason. The men I do like have either just lost interest, left me or were liars and/or cheaters. The one nice guy I like I think I either scared away or something else is going on I don't know about. I'm tired of all the nonsense, I just want someone I can love who loves me the same as I Iove him. To paraphrase a Michael Buble' song, I just haven't found that yet. And yeah, it stinks...