Jist stop yer whinin' already!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Jist stop yer whinin' already!
11
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 6:52pm

I just got back from a long walk with the good-looking, often attentive, gainfully-employed, athletic Dutch guy I've mentioned here before.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 7:33pm

well? I think that you are just experiencing life and people and men situations.. I mean its not your fault the neighbor guy mauled you and by the way I would probably get a restraining order on him but that is me...

Also if the Dutch guy keeps you company and you dont mind him then hang out with him as long as its okay....and you can keep your heart in check...

I think

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 8:33pm

Thanks, Free.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 8:53pm
Marina,
I honestly am beginning to think that *some* of us, definitely me and possibly you, really do not want a full-time relationship. That's why we are attracted to men who are in some way unavailable. My mother has suggested that , and I think she is partly right. The other part of the equation, I tell her, and truly believe, is that there is a dearth of interesting, attractive, available men over age 40.
Example: I am presently doing travel work as a physician assistant, and am in Minnesota right now. I think, ok, new place, new men, new possibilities. Since someone I know has had luck on Craigslist, I post an ad, sans photo, yesterday. I actually received some sincere responses. Some were too old, but several sounded at least plausible. One, who is a farmer, got persistent right away and wanted to meet *today*. I felt that old familiar uncomfortable twinge in the pit of my stomach. I really don't want anyone dominating my time, and even the *best* men are high maintenance.
Of course, if I was younger and still wanting kids, I am sure I would feel differently. And as I have said before, since the big M, my sex drive is not what it was when I was younger, so that has something to do with it too.
Also, at mid-life, you really look at things differently. Do you want to take on someone's baggage? What if he gets sick? What if he loses his job? These are things you just don't think about when you are younger and more horny.
Anyway, I don't know you but these things may be a factor with you as well. That, and you live in LA, which, in my opinion, presents an alternate reality.
Hang in there. You have so much on the ball, you can work on these other issues and figure out what you *really* want and need!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 11:58pm

I honestly thought all my life that if I could just hold out until my daughter went to college, I could begin a romance, change careers, do what I'm great at instead of what I'm merely good at professionally, all that stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 1:29pm

I think I'm looking for basically what you are w/ regard to romance--a steady guy but not necessarily live-in--at least not for the next 2 yrs until DS is going to college.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 11:21pm

Hi Music,

Well, Dutch guy is a bit weird. He complains CONSTANTLY about his stupid boss and his awful job and his hateful working conditions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 9:00pm
Marina90292 wrote:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 9:15pm

Yep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 9:38pm

I did realize that Marina is not your real name but I still like it.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 11:15pm

A spare FWB seems to be in order!

chaika

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