just being me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
just being me
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 11:28am
i come from a society or rather a city in which family life is largely encouraged and frankly, due to our increasing aging population, i do not blame the govt for promoting family life. but just that, in the midst of all these, i personally feel that it has somehow shaped the society into frowning upon single women. i find it tough to be a single in my enviroment. it is like we have family gatherings where aunties and cousins come to visit each other and the aunts will always empthaise my singlehood like: girl, when are u getting a bf? and all my girlfriends think i will be the last one to get hitched among them and that i am the boring and prunish one who doesnt get men. and all the females get together to talk about men and if you are not dating or doesnt have a string of males lining up behind you, u are one weird alien from mars. i tried to tell myself that i am happy being single but with all these rubbishs, i dont know if i am comvincing enough, even to myself. i dont know if liberation comes with opression, women of today not only have to have a good job to support herself, be attractive (thin blah) but also to have a successful marriage. if she gets all of that, she is complete. a successful female species.

you know sometimes , i feel so left out in my place. so left out from all the dating women or attached. is it me feeling all this..am i not strong enough...prehaps i am unhappy with myself to begin with. argh! being human is tough. *laugh..i wish i dont have emotions sometimes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: i_yakker
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 6:05pm
If you are being yourself and following your bliss - why does this stuff bother you so?

When my life is full and I am happy, not much can get me down :) Are you? If not, get on it!

And speak up for yourself! When someone makes a joke or says a comment that bothers you, tell them! Call them on it! Say something like, "that hurt my feelings, why would you say that?". Ppl used think I could "take anything" but I was hurting inside - I just never showed it. When I did, they stopped b/c no one intentially wanted to hurt me. They just thought I was ok with it.

Welcome to the board and I hope you find some friends here :)