Just Broke Off Engagement

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Just Broke Off Engagement
7
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 7:51pm

Well, I just broke off my engagement today. I'm having a rather difficult time. Posts on other boards helped me to realize that there is no happiness with a "mamma's boy." I'm pretty sad right now but I came to this board because I really need some strength to learn how to be single. I'm one of those people that's been in serial relationships pretty much since I was 15 (I'm 27 now). Anyway, I look forward to meeting and chatting with you guys :)

Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 8:13pm
Well I want you to know I know what your going through and I hope you get peace with this decision. I broke off an engagement around 5 years ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was engaged to my pastor's daughter, plus she had a child and it was very heart breaking. I tell you what, I've been dumped, lied to and possibly cheated on, but my heart broke worst when I ended the relationship. Feel free to vent or share if you want, we are here for you.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 11:07pm

I understand being sad, but I think with time if you stay single for awhile, you'll eventually have a moment where you say "WOW! Why didn't I do this before???"


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 5:29am
Thank you for your support. I certainly hope I will start feeling better about it. I think I was high on the adrenaline earlier last night then crashed down and of course had an awful time trying to sleep. I just feel completely alone right now because all my friends are in happy relationships and I'm scared to death to sit at home alone every night. What kinds of things do you guys do to keep busy? Does anyone here live alone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 6:48am
I live alone. I have for so long that I don't think I will be able to live with anyone! I agree with 2scoops, breaking up is one of the hardest things to deal with. I always go into a deep depression after a break up, which is why I'm so reluctant to get into a relationship to start with. If you are anything like me you will feel the way you do for at least a few weeks. Don't be in a rush to make yourself feel better though. I disagree with the idea of doing things to distract yourself or assuage the pain. I think confronting and dealing with the sadness is a necessary part of the healing process. Even though you can't see an end in sight right now the pain *will* eventually dissipate and you will be a stronger and happier person ready to embrace new experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:21am

Hey poohbear or Jamie!

Yeah it can definitely be a big adjustment going from being in a couple to single. I had to make that adjustment when I came out of my 8 year relationship. I do live alone but I've been lucky to have many single friends to hang out with on weekends. We go dancing, bar-hopping, clubbing, shopping you name it and it has made being single fun actually.

The best thing I can tell you is to stay busy, focus on yourself and maybe get out there and do all the things you've been wanting to do. Recruit some new friends and try different things. That has helped me and I've been having a lot of fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:50am
I am sorry to hear that you are hurting now. Welcome to the board. Being single can really be wonderful sometimes but it might take a little while to feel that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 11:51am

Hey Jamie!
First of all hugs...it's very hard to be at this first stage of the game.

I've been in serious relationships for 6 yrs. straight and just spent the past 5 months single, more than ever before, combined. At first it's tough, and you worry, alot, feeling like everyone else has already hooked up. But I promise, another will come along and you'll feel your heart again, as if you didn't think it worked still. I just met a great guy and I'm looking forward to being in those first stages together.

I live alone and love it! The first couple weeks are weird because you feel like a stranger in your own home, but you busy yourself with unpacking and what not. I think it's important for women to live alone for at least a little, it's a huge confidence booster and reassuring to know that you can do it on your own!

Sounds like you know you made the right choice with breaking off the engagement. You should feel good about that because it takes an incredible amount of strength!

We're all here for your...*hugs*